Brian sat at his desk miserably watching silver drops of rain roll down the office window. The hot weather had finally broken a week ago and after two grey days filled with a silent drizzle summer seemed like a dream now. Isla had gone to the North to stay with Henri’s family. He hoped she had kept her clothes on, but he had his doubts. At least she was off his hands and if she was wreaking naked havoc, then it was Henri’s problem now. Isla’s mother was as naked as ever at home, but now the nights were turning chilly Brian felt could legitimately claim it was too cold to join her inflagrante. Fortunately she didn’t seem to mind and pottered around quite happily in the nude while her fully clothed husband admired the view.
The last few weeks had been a stormy, metaphorically speaking, and rough seas had battered the good ship Brian Shaw, firstly the force ten that was Isla and her reluctantly naked boyfriend, followed by the scend of nude working in the offices of PDQ. Brian’s timbers shivered at the memory but at least now he was back on an even keel and sailing happily through much calmer waters with smiling waves smacking against the prow. And so it was until about half past eleven when the kraken awoke.
“Ho-ho” called John to nobody in particular, “they’ve caught the naked angel”
The monster Brain always feared lay in wait for him rose up from the depths and wrapped its tentacles around his chest like iron bands.
“Oh really” replied Jan casually, “I thought she was a myth”
“Absolutely not, she was reported to the police this morning by somebody called Bob Standing who had seen her in the street”
The waters around Brian were boiling and frothing as he felt himself drawn down into cold depths of despair. Bob Standing lived across the road from him!
“How do they know it was the Naked Angel?” asked Jan with as much contempt as she could muster.
“Same street as before, Belvoir Avenue, where Brian lives” Jan’s distain drained away as both of Brian’s colleagues looked pointedly towards him. Not hat he noticed as he was too busy sucking in oxygen to feed his beating heart.
“You must know her Brian, Linda Frost?”
Brian gulped, a goldfish breaching the putrid surfacein a stagnant bowl. The pressure eased on his chest, and just as a drowning sailor suddenly finding a life vest he popped up to the surface. Gratefully he sucked in oxygen.
“Yes” he squeaked weakly, as if he had been fed helium instaed, “she lives next door”
John laughed, “Would you believe it? All that time and you never knew”
This brief interlude was all Brain needed to recover, the waters had subsided now and he was able to answer calmly.
“I thought that chef said he couldn’t remember”
“True,” replied John thoughtfully, “but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen”
Brian, who up until now had been certain it did happen, and that his wife was the naked angel reconsidered. “How did they find out it was Linda”
“Look here” said Jon turning his screen around, “he was looking out the window, saw her and got a few pictures.”
Brian looked at the photographs. Linda’s naked body glowed a whiter shade of pale in the harsh light of the camera flash. The first snap, however, could have been anyone, but the second was a close up of her face, twisted in a look of shock at the sudden starburst of light. Brian was filled with an immense sense of relief. He was instantly ashamed, but that could have been Marion, or worst of all himself. John was reading on.
“Linda Frost, thirty seven…..she looks good for her age, don’t you think?” Brain looked at his neighbour while Jan looked to the heavens, “you’re as big a pervert as that Dick Standing” she told him.
“Bob Standing, Jan, pay attention will you” He corrected her before continuing. “Mrs Frost was interviewed by the police, but as nobody had complained about her bizarre night time habits they decided not to bring charges.”
“Mr Frost claimed he had no idea of his wife’s nudist ramblings. He told reporters their neighbour’s naked habits had led her astray”
The kraken rose like a lioness from the dry savannah grass once more, tentacles dripping cold seawater as it reached to drag him down into the cold dark depths.
“That was a principled protest” Jan told John firmly. With a sudden release and surge of elation Brian broke free from his malaise, shaking off the monster completely.
“I don’t think Isla had anything to do with this” he said defensively.
John changed tack. “She must have walked past your house” he said to Brian.
“Who?” Brian was genuinely confused now, even so he felt the trap, sensing the beast that lurked below his little boat, circling, waiting for its chance.
“The naked neighbour”
“Well I suppose so”
“So you must have seen her”
Brian became indignant “I don’t spend all night looking out of the window, unlike my neighbour” he added, feeling the undercurrent dragging him down. For lurking in his mind was the dreadful fact that on another night that Dick Standing’s evil little camera could have caught him and Marion, tripping across the road together in the altogether.
“You’re not telling me that you have lived next door to the naked angel for sixth months and had no idea.”
Brian shook his head, of course he hadn’t thought the mythical naked angel had been living next door, he’d been damn certain she’d sleeping next him, for some of the night at least. This revelation of Linda the divine was something to digest, a large big piece of gristle that lay heavy on his stomach.
Jan, however, had other matters on her agenda and turned on John.
“You seem remarkably interested in all of this. You’re not thinking of trying it yourself are you?”
“Certainly not” replied John quickly, far too quickly for Jan, who turned and with a raised eyebrow struck deep “the lady doth protest too much, methinks”
“What’s that supposed to mean” snapped John suddenly on the defernsive.
“You’re not a closet nudist are you?” Jan asked him with a wicked smile.
“Absolutely not! You wouldn’t catch me doing something as sordid as that”
” For somebody so disgusted with nudity you seem to take a great deal of interest in it”
They bickered on and on for some time, like two evenly matched armies fighting over the same blasted piece of heath. First one advanced, only to be stopped by a determined rearguard, which was followed by a sharp offensive that railed futilely at a sternly held redoubt. Safely to one side of battle with the crisis over Brian got back to some work, as he fell into the familiar rhythm of his fingers tippy tappy typing on his keyboard he felt the kraken drop back into the abyss, leaving him at peace, for now. But he knew it was there, deep down, waiting and watching.
That evening after a stressful drive home Brian approached Belvoir Avenue with a heavy heart. He was determined once and for all to have it out with Marion. These midnight walks had to stop, after all what if Dick had photographed her, in her glory clothes. As he tuned right he peered along the road bathed in a coppery sun that brushed the street with loving sepia tones. Brian had expected to be greeted by a press pack hounding Linda’s gate, baying for blood,but all was quiet and still. The world having looked once, now turned away, the beam of its relentless desire for scandal focused on some new indiscretion.
Brian entered the kitchen full of strident purpose, intent on righting his wayward wife who as usual, was as naked as a jaybird. What was unusual, and put him completely off his stride, was her naked companion. They both looked at him completely unabashed. The new nude was small with large pendulous breasts. Clearly these were too heavy for her slender frame as she was resting them on the kitchen table. She smiled at Brian invoking a small flicker of recognition. Has he met her before? He would surely remember those mammaries, unless of course they were in their holsters when he had seen them last.
“Brian, this is Julie, a friend of Isla’s”
That would explain the nudity, but he felt sure Isla hadn’t introduced them. Julie rose to her feet exposing a freshly shaven haven. Her breasts swayed like Galilieo’s chandelier as she held out her hand.
“We’ve met before” she told him, “I came here to look into the naked angel story”
“Ah right” he replied as panic rose in his throat. His autonomic response to any mention of the naked angel.
He shook her hand, setting up divine oscillations in those breasts. She smiled as she sat down.” Perhaps you didn’t recognise me without my clothes on?”. The oldest joke in the world, and she knew it.
“Well it does beg the question as to why you are in the altogether”
Marion interrupted, “I told you Brian. You never listen, do you. Julie has been with Isla on her protests; she spent a day working nude with us at PDQ”
Brian winced at the thought of Marion naked at work. He was always astonished that that bare fact had escaped the public’s attention. Now he was looking at the reason in all her glory.
“Well don’t just stand there Brian, we have guest and you are not following the dress code”
Brian gulped and then as he was about to slope sadly off, like an admonished dog, tail between his legs he was saved by the bell.
Ding dong, “I’ll get that” he said and before anyone could move he was gone.
He opened the door to find his neighbour, Linda, the erstwhile naked angel standing on the step. On one hand she looked awful. Her face was pale and drawn, her eyes red and puffy from crying and her hair greasy and lifeless. On the other hand Brain had never seen her looking so good, mainly because up until this moment he had never seen her without clothing.
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Twenty three
Twenty three
Emaline Mirabelle Conway was known as Merri to her parents. Her school friends had called her Bella, but at the PDQ Agency she was called E-M (pronounced Em). Her job was to do the sensible things. All the creative things were done by the erudite copywriters and the flamboyant art directors who flounced and strutted, argued and enthused. Merri kept the business running. It she who filled the coffee makers, ensured the printers and photocopier were tonered and filled with the right type of glossy paper. There were always staplers and glue and paint and pencils handy to replace the ones they lost or destroyed in a fit of petulant anger. While she may not have won any contracts or awards one thing was absolutely certain there would never been any campaigns without her.
The morning of the day that would change her life forever was warm. There was every probability that the rest of day would be warmer still. Even so Merri packed her cardigan, a simple plaid pattern today in purple and white she thought as she folding it neatly and placing it in her wicker shopping bag. Merri always needed an extra layer in the summer at PDQ as the air con was invariably set on alpine peak. Checking herself in the mirror that hung in the shadowy hall, Merri sighed, a long, heartfelt sigh for all she had lost. An involuntary expression of sadness for the lost lives of both her parents, coupled to the loss of her life that just might have been. Still she thought to herself briskly, no use crying over spilt milk. Wiping a tear from her eye she stepped out into the golden morning, brushing her bare legs against the warm fur of her only companion, Eric, her tabby cat who was hurrying in after a long night prowling the neighbourhood. She often wondered what strange sights he saw in the wee small hours. Were the streets and back alleyways populated by a different set of inhabitants while the rest of the world slept?
‘How wrong can you be?’ thought Merri as she opened the door to PDQ’s office and a wall of warm air hit her like a foolish motorist opening his car window in the middle of Death Valley. The temperature seemed to rise by one degree per stair as she climbed to the first floor suite where she, manager Dave or D-Z (pronounced Dizzy) worked with a small group of creatives in a suite of seven rooms.
“Is the air con broken” she asked a petite blonde called P-W (Penny Wilson, aka Pow) who was monopolising the water cooler. She grunted before replying “It’s Dizzy’s latest ploy to get the Misthaze shopping centre account.” Merri knew all about this, the local mall was promoting itself as a green venue by turning off their climate control, hence Dave’s decision to switch of theirs. She moved through the open plan office cheerily greeting the other staff members who seemed to be boiling already. She dreaded to think how they would all feel by the afternoon. In fact they would all feel cool and refreshed, but at that time Merry had no inkling how the day would progress.
“Wow, I know I always thought the air con was too high, but there was no need for this” Merri turned and smiled. “Morning Marion” Their part time accountant was always welcome. Merri viewed as a kindred spirit, level headed and sensible. A veritable pillar of the community, although she had a nagging doubt about her daughter’s actions.
“Hello Marion,” said Dave, “I hope you’re pleased with our concern for the environment”
“I would have appreciated a little warning, Dave” Marion ignored the latest office fad for initials “I’d have worn a little less”
“It’s your daughter’s fault” he retorted, “She started this…by wearing a lot less!”
“You don’t have to follow all that rubbish” Marion complained, “She’s hardly likely to march around here demanding you turn off the air con”
“it’s a little more complicated” H-S, (Harry Smith, pronounced Hiss) a pleasant looking, long haired lad, explained “You see we’re up for the Mall’s contract and they are following the air con bad message” he gulped on some coffee before adding “Saves them money, they’ve no real scruples”
Merri left them to their discussion to check the answer phone. The first call was from Miles Jones the director of the Misthaze centre. He confirmed his appointment for three that afternoon. Merry hoped they would be ready, but she doubted this.
Her suspicions were confirmed later in the morning by a very sweaty M-S (Melainie Smith or Mess).
“We’re nowhere Em” she told her as she inspected two large wet patches on her pale pink silk blouse, “Do you think these will come out?”
“Oh yes, a bit of biological will sort that”
“It won’t ruin the material?”
“Not if you use a very low temperature, Mess”
The whole office consulted Merri on just about everything except for affairs of the heart. They saw her as an old spinster left on the shelf, a shrivelled virgin who had never felt the sting of Cupid’s darts. On that account they were wrong for she had had her day once, many years ago when she was a fresh faced, eighteen. Back then, she had a boy friend called Chris who she loved deeply. She had even made up her mind to have sex with him. Merri had planned it all, a secluded picnic in the woods after which she would allow the unsuspecting Chris to seduce her. She had even chosen the date, a day late in her monthly cycle when pregnancy would be highly unlikely. Merri had always been pragmatic. Sadly it was never to be; her poor father put paid to that. The very Sunday before what was in her mind as the biggest event in her life so far he contrived to upstage her passage from maid to woman. Merri remembered the day well, how could she ever forget? They had just left church, and she and her mother were admiring the rose bushes that were in full flower, Merri could still remember their heady smell that hung in the fresh summer air. Her father, who stood as a rock around which the family was anchored, was talking to the vicar. She could still remember the warm rhythm of his words, his deep voice sounding across the crunch yard. Then there was a cry and a quiet crunch as the gravel gave way under an unexpected mass. In sudden panic Merri turned to see her father slumped on the ground; his left arm quivering as the priest kneeled, muttering quiet words of prayer. Inside Merri boiled; she felt like shouting, “he needs cardiac massage. Don’t just kneel there, help him” She had ran across the churchyard, scattering small stones, with her mother behind her screaming but all Merri could hear was their friend and neighbour Jack Filey speaking desperately in hushed tones to his phone. But the heart attack was too big, the ambulance too slow. Merri’s life also ended in a way on that summer’s day, for her mother, who was never strong went spiralling into a decline and Merri was slowly sucked into her whirlpool of illness and despair, and so she was gradually pulled her away from all she knew. It was twelve years before her mother finally shuffled off her mortal coil leaving Merry a lone survivor, blinking on a sunlit beach with an ocean of experience before her yet to be explored.
Rebuilding had been slow, it had taken her months to build a small circle of friends, first flower arranging at church, then the swimming club, and finally the biggest hurdle of all, this job at PDQ. Mess broke into Merri’s reverie, “I could certainly use a lower temperature myself. Any chance Dizzy’s going to turn the ac back on?”
“I doubt it; he’s keen on this contract”
It was a slow day for the creatives, sometimes they whizzed, ideas tumbling from them faster than storm waves on a winter shore. Today the ideas were lake water lapping on an idling rowing boat. At eleven o’clock a meeting was called. Dizzy ran the whole gamut of despair, his team had deserted him, the contract was as unattainable as a desert mirage. Fortunately for Merri a caller at the door necessitated her to leave at this point.
“Hello Marion, you’re back, I see you’ve changed into something more suitable” said Merri noticing Marion’s thin summer dress.
“Not for much longer I fear” replied Marion rather mysteriously, “Bella, let me introduce to my daughter, Isla and this is her boyfriend Henri”
Merri had, of course, recognised Isla from the newspapers, “how do you do” she greeted them both shaking hands, “come to offer some advice?”
“Oh yes” replied Isla confidently
“Well they are all in a meeting, come on through” Merri said warmly as she ushered them towards the conference room. She led them in and stayed while Marion introduced her daughter and Henri to the small workforce.
Merri enquired if anyone needed a cold drink. This was like asking the pope if he wanted a service on a Sunday, as the room was hotter than a volcano. When she returned a few moments later it was instantly clear little progress had been made.
“Well no” Henri was telling them animatedly “we weren’t able to come up with any better slogans, that was one of our problems. Even ‘I’d rather have nothing on than have air con on’ was pinched from someone else” The whole room looked dejected, they were getting nowhere fast.
“Look,” said Isla, “I’m not in advertising, but even I can see you’re not going to get anywhere in this atmosphere, it’s far too hot”
“Well I could switch the air con back on” began D-Z. Merri and the rest of the staff looked longingly at him, tongues hanging out like puppy dogs waiting for their master to throw the ball. Isla on the other hand gave him to look of death, “That would rather defeat the object, don’t you think”
Isla looked around the room at the worn out faces and beamed, Merri started to become very worried indeed. Not as worried as she was a moment later when Isla told them they should follow her slogan.
“My slogan” Henri reminded her as fear gripped Merri warmly by the throat.
“I suppose we could” muttered D-Z “it would show how serious we were.”
Merri’s heart stopped beating at this point, surely he didn’t mean, he couldn’t. She was aware the others were talking, but her brain wasn’t processing the words. It was like a sporting match where the vision was fine but the sound signal had been lost. The conference room was the field of play and her colleagues the players in the game. She watched in a detached way as they ran around the in fury all arms gesticulating in silent animation, but the sense of occasion was lost on her. By the time normal service had been resumed it was all over, the final whistle had been blown. The naked office was on.
Marion turned to Merri “you haven’t said anything, Bella.”
“You don’t have to join us Em” Dave told her gently, before quickly adding “Don’t take that the wrong way, we would love you to join us, but…..”
There was a general low hum that indicated that agreement of her colleagues
Merri knew what they were thinking, dry wizened old spinster, old fashioned and prim, only naked for a shower.
“Tell you what” Marion told her “I will if you will” Like the watcher of the skies the whole attention of the room moved away from Merri and focussed on the new plant in their ken, Marion who, in their minds marched to the same drummer’s beat as Merri.
Someone said “In that case count me in” The whole room’s attention swung back to Merri, who was gradually realising that it had been her voice that spoke.
The silence was broken by Isla who was clearly becoming exasperated by the whole affair.
“Right, we’ll stay in here and you men can go somewhere else?” she looked enquiringly at Dave “The gents” he said. This drew a drone of distaste, “alright my office”
“I’ll come and get you when we are ready” Isla informed them as they trooped out contemplating the size of their midriffs. They had barely closed the door before Isla was naked, but then considering her the amount of practice she had this should have surprised nobody. What was a shock to Merri and the two other girls, Mess and Pow, was the speed at which her mother joined her in the altogether. The sight of her all over tan was both an answer and a wake up call.
“Tanlines” Pow spat out, removing her low cut top, to reveal a pink push up bra. Mess had other worries, “If only it known I’d have had a trim down there” she confided as she slipped out of her grey pencil skirt.
These were the least of Merri’s worries. She had no tan to speak of and her weekly outings to the ladies only swimming days at the Waterloo centre had taught her the benefit of ensuring no stray hairs peeked out from the lycra. Her worries were more in the line of stripping. Suddenly, with no warning her mind slipped back to the time before her father died, when she had aspirations of a normal life. She remembered quiet days in the summer, when the house was empty, no sound beyond the ticking of the clock in the silent hallway. Those were the days when she had planned for her liaison with Chris. She had it all worked out, the meal, the seduction and the strip before the final act of union. For days, alone in her bedroom, curtains closed against the peaking sun Merri had rehearsed her routine. First the plain white blouse, slowly, one button at a time, starting from the bottom. Then she paused, her flat white stomach bare, the outlines of her lacy bra just visible. Merri stood still for a brief moment, chin down, looking up. More of her diaphanous bra was exposed as she reached to let down her long brown hair. Free from its band, she shook it loose, giving her audience a brief glimpse of her protruding nipples pushing out from the fabric of her underwear. Then, reaching behind her she unzipped her thin red skirt. This bought her slim shoulders back, emphasising her full breasts. With a flick of her hips she allowed the skirt to fall to the ground. Then, she stepped forward, out of her fallen skirt leaving it and her sandals behind. The part opened blouse hung well below her waist, hiding her hips but the outline of her dark patch of pubic hair was plainly visible through the lace in her clean, white, high cut knickers. Slowly she let the blouse fall from her shoulders to join the rest of her clothing. With no pause, just a seductive smile, Merri reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, this done she dropped her shoulders to emphasise her cleavage. Quickly she let it fall releasing her full, firm breasts with their small cherry nipples. Turning away, she looked back at the mirror and, with a lascivious smile she leant forward, pushing her rounded buttocks towards her audience. Then with both hands she slipped her thumbs inside either side of her knickers and slowly rolled them down her firm thighs. Standing suddenly with her last item of clothing held at arms length between her thumb and forefinger she turned to face the mirror. Dropping the last of her underwear Merri stepped forward to the imagined seduction that was destined never to take place.
“Are you alright Em?” asked Pow. Merri snapped out of her reverie. Unconsciously she had already begun the long forgotten act, standing before her colleagues with her blouse open.
“Sorry just a bit much to take in” she said apologetically.
“For you and us all,” said Mess, “except of course young Isla” Although neither Mess or Pow were too sure about Marion anymore. Merri switched quickly to her swimming pool routine, folding her clothes neatly as she undressed. When she was naked she reached automatically for her costume, but of course it wasn’t there, and it was never going to be. Standing awkwardly, arms by her side she looked at her two colleagues. They were alike, pencil thin with sharp breasts pointing accusingly at her. Their faces held a look that Merri could only translate as astonishment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked shyly. She felt intimidated by their nudity, their bodies part tanned, with long legs and small patches of pubic hair.
“Merri” said Mess quietly, “let down your hair”
Merri did as she was told, suddenly realising that everyone was looking at her.
Mess spoke for the room. “Talk about hiding yourself away, you sure are one hell of a swan Merri”
“What me?”
“Oh yes, you, I don’t know why I was worried about trimming the lawn, ‘cos one thing’s for certain, nobody’s going to be looking at me!”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you mean”
“Bella,” said Marion kindly, “you’re gorgeous,” she pointed to a mirror in the corner “look at yourself”
Merri didn’t need to look at herself, she already knew what she looked like. It was the sight of the rest of the flesh that was new. With no reference points she had rather assumed she had an average body, but looking at the two skinny girls standing shyly before her Merri swiftly revised her opinions. She had previously seen Mess and Pow as sirens, pulling unsuspecting men into their, what was now revealed to be not so ample bosoms. Now, stripped bare of their camouflage, they were diminished, two stick insects next to Merri’s queen bee.
Isla interrupted tersely. Merri was nothing, she had Suzie Blackwell for competition. “Enough of this preening ladies, I’ll go get the chaps”
Merri swallowed hard, here she was naked at work, being gawped at by her equally bare colleagues and now her first naked males were about to be delivered. Within seconds the first penis she had ever seen hove into view. What an odd little appendage she thought. She knew they could get bigger, but the mechanism by which such a floppy flaccid object could become large enough, and stiff enough to fit inside her vagina was unfathomable.
For a few moments the employees of the PDQ agency stared as silently as stout Cortez gazing on the Pacific. They took it all in, and would probably have done so for an age if Marion hadn’t intervened and set them all to work.
Merri busied herself with the photocopier which had run out of toner. She was the only one in the office who could replace the cartridge without getting toner all over her clothes. Today she was all fingers and thumbs, dropping the cartridge and nearly getting covered in ink. ‘Oh well she thought, at least it would have wiped off. One bonus to working in the nude’ She wondered if there were others, she certainly no longer felt hot under the collar.
She took lunch as usual at her desk, except it wasn’t usual at all she thought brushing breadcrumbs from her breasts. The leather of her office chair felt smooth and cool on her back, contrasting with the roughness of the small hand towel she had found in the store room to sit on. Her phone buzzed just as she was scolding herself for spilling orange juice on herself. Dizzy was calling a meeting in the conference room. Merri grabbed her towel and unconsciously brushed away some breadcrumbs that had nestled in her pubic hair. She headed quickly through the door, almost bumping into Hiss in her hurry. “After you, Em” he said politely. As she walked along the narrow corridor that led to the conference room she suddenly realised that Hiss had an excellent view of her bare behind. Still, she preferred him scrutinising her bottom to the alternative.
Shorn of their clothes the ideas had flowed from the creative team. Hours ago thye were nowhere, now they had an outline for the campaign. Merri had to admit it was slick and fizzed with ieas.
“Ok” Dizzy told them, “tidy it up and get it ready for Mr Jones” He paused looking sheepishly around his small company, “I’d like Pow and Mess to do the presentation” Utter silence filled the room like the gulfs between the stars “Er I know it’s sexist but, you know….” He would have looked at his shoes if he was wearing any “You have to play to your strengths”
“Yes, you’re right” Mess told him, “I’ll need to pop out to get some stuff first” she told him
“What sort of stuff” asked a puzzled Hiss
“Girlie stuff” Pow and Mess answered in unison.
Dizzy cleared his throat, a gentle polite, noise much like a well brought up toad. “I don’t suppose you could join us Em?” he croaked
Merri beamed, “Of course” she replied. Mess and Pow nodded. No point in leaving your star centre forward on the bench for the big match.
Miles Jones had never looked forward to a meeting so much in his life. Usually he kept people waiting, Being punctual meant you weren’t’ busy enough. Time was money and unless he was paying for somebody’s time he wasted it. But the opportunity to cast an eye over naked totty changed everything, if the staff of PDQ were desperate enough to prance around stark bullock naked to get his attention, he would give them all the time they wanted. Not that he was interested in the bollocks bit, Dizzy and his similarly named arty farty boys could prance around in the nuddy till their balls froze off for all he cared, but there was a couple of foxy girls and he wouldn’t mind seeing what was in their knickers. He remembered them well, long legs and stilettos, short skirts so you could almost see their bums. Tight cut low blouses with plenty of cleavage on display. He rubbed his hands together with glee at the thought of those puppies let loose. Oh yes, today was going to be a good day he thought to himself as he rang the door bell.
The door was answered by a stunning brunette, who was wearing the attire he liked best. Absolutely sweet FA. Where did that fatuous moron Dizzy find this babe from, Miles thought to himself. The last time he was here he was greeted by that frumpy secretary of his, all plaid pleated skirt and ribbed blouse buttoned up to the neck, hair tied back in a Mary Poppins bun, and shoes too sensible for a nun. This was a great improvement he thought as his eyes darted up and down her firm flesh. She stood with her long legs slightly apart, one hand on her perfect hip while the other idly rubbed her back. He drooled as her firm pert breasts rose and fell in time with her breathing, His throat was dry and he almost swooned, as his eyes roamed up her firm legs as sturdy and perfectly formed as an alabaster statue. She had kept her pubic hair, he liked that in a woman, and this specemin before him was undoubtedly a woman. He stood and admired her perfect curls, purring like a tom cat as he gazed at the thicker darker hair that nearly, but not quite, covered the twin swellings that led to her vagina. It seemed like an age to him but in reality it was only a few seconds, as he stood in the doorway grinning inanely at her body before he met this heavenly creatures eyes. Then he really got a shock, for the Aphrodite standing naked before him was that frumpy secretary. In that instant, as their eyes met Merri knew the contract was won.
That evening Merri floated home on a tide of champagne. After the deal had been signed, Dizzy had insisted that all go out for a celebratory meal. Merri didn’t usually mix socially with the others, preferring to retreat to the solitude of her quiet house with it’s calm familiar rhythms. But how often do you spend time naked with people? It had changed her perspective, engendering a deep trust. With these new bonds she felt she could venture a little further from the safety of the shore.
Their discussion was all on their day and the adventure they had faced. Pow and Miss felt they had taken most of the blows, standing naked at the screen, both as thin as rakes, with long legs accentuated by the high heels they hastily purchased that afternoon. Their cosmetic worries were also salved. Both now sported all over tans as even as Marion Shaw’s, but to Merri’s eyes there was a touch of orange that just wasn’t there on the firm’s account, who, fortunately had gone home, preventing any opportunity of comparison. Their concern’s over having a few hairs out of place had been dealt with too, although to Merri’s eyes they had used a combine harvester in place of a pair of garden secateurs, and both their vulvas had stood out like twin scars on their flat featureless torsos.
Poor Mr Jones didn’t know where to look, his eyes were flitting everywhere, he appeared to be desperately trying to concentrate on the screen, but the presence of all that naked flesh made it so hard for him. Mess and Pow laughed heartily when Merri told them this.
“Listen, Em the only thing he was concentrating on was the swelling in his pants” Pow told her bluntly.
“And frankly” continued Mess, “you were the main distraction”
Merri could feel the heat in her face, she had never considered herself as an object of attraction, but here she was sitting with her two co workers, both of whom again oozed a sensuality that had already acquired much attention from a few fellow diners. And they were telling her she was a sex symbol.
Before she could pursue this line of thought further Merri’s bus had arrived at her stop. Thanking the driver as was her wont, she alighted and walked along the familiar summer streets to her home. Her cat, Eric greeted her with all the haughty distain of his species. Merri filled his bowl with milk before getting herself a cool glass of water. The champagne, coupled with the intense heat that hung sullenly in the air of the closed house induced a great weariness. Shedding her clothes for the second time that day Merri indulged herself in a long cool shower. Suitably refreshed she reached for the robe that usually hung behind the door. Uncharacteristically she had forgotten to put it there, so she wrapped her towel around her body before heading towards her bedroom. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks. What was she doing? She had spent the whole afternoon stark naked in front of her colleagues and now she was covering herself to walk from her bathroom to her bedroom in an empty house. Removing the towel she folded it carefully and hung it on the towel rail, and gingerly, and bizarrely for the first time in her life, stepped onto the landing of her house with no clothes on. She tiptoed towards her bedroom, as if in fear of being caught. She caught herself again, what was she thinking, tomorrow she was going to spend the whole day naked at work, what was the point of getting dressed now. The house was swelteringly warm, and completely empty. Pulling herself together she walked down the stairs and along the hallway Just before she reached the lounge she caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror by the front door, and finally, she allowed herself to see what Miles Jones, Mess and Pow and all the others had seen.
“Oh my, Merri look at you” she told herself. After an hour watching television Merri felt extremely comfortable, for a few moments she even forgot she was naked.
‘Perhaps I’m a nudist’ she thought, and then laughed at the notion. She had no idea what a nudist was. There was only one way to find out. Switching on her computer she typed it into her search engine. She was very surprised to find there was a nudist, or naturist facility within three miles, in fact her bus home had passed by the gates. Merri had always assumed the Sandydunes Sun Club was a health farm. Now she knew otherwise it was so obvious, the high hedges, the gate set well back from the road with its entrance guarded by a security code.
Its website by contrast was more than welcoming, having detailed pages for current members and those who may just be thinking of giving it a go. There was even a quiz to see if you might just be a naturist. Merri giggled to herself as she looked at the questions.
The only pale I’m naked is in the bath with the door firmly locked. That would have been a yes this morning, but now, she dropped her gaze and smiled.
Next question, nobody would want to stare at that ugly carcase of mine. Well she had pretty good evidence for ticking the box marked no.
The rest of the questions were about the feel of the sun and the breeze on your bare body, and the pleasure of skinny dipping. Nothing, however, about working in the buff. Well, she could do nothing about skinny dipping, but the feel of the sun and the breeze was a definite possibility. Before she could change her mind and back out Merri opened the patio doors and stepped out. There was no danger of being seen, but then that cat was well and truly out of the bag anyway. ‘That’s settled,’ she thought, ‘I can tick another two yes boxes’
“Oh what the hell” she muttered as she sat back down in front of the computer, “What are you doing Merri?”
But there it was in big letters, ‘Give it a go, we want you to join us’ Merri read on, and realised that they didn’t want you if you were single and male, but if you were female there wasn’t even a waiting list. She looked sown at her body, that until today she had hidden away in unflattering clothing. Now here she was, a butterfly shorn of its cocoon, sitting naked in her empty house, with a full day of naked work ahead, and yet new eyes free to roam over her bare skin.
She smiled again as she turned back to the keyboard as with an email address and a few clicks of a computer mouse Emaline Mirabelle Conway left that lonely life behind.
Emaline Mirabelle Conway was known as Merri to her parents. Her school friends had called her Bella, but at the PDQ Agency she was called E-M (pronounced Em). Her job was to do the sensible things. All the creative things were done by the erudite copywriters and the flamboyant art directors who flounced and strutted, argued and enthused. Merri kept the business running. It she who filled the coffee makers, ensured the printers and photocopier were tonered and filled with the right type of glossy paper. There were always staplers and glue and paint and pencils handy to replace the ones they lost or destroyed in a fit of petulant anger. While she may not have won any contracts or awards one thing was absolutely certain there would never been any campaigns without her.
The morning of the day that would change her life forever was warm. There was every probability that the rest of day would be warmer still. Even so Merri packed her cardigan, a simple plaid pattern today in purple and white she thought as she folding it neatly and placing it in her wicker shopping bag. Merri always needed an extra layer in the summer at PDQ as the air con was invariably set on alpine peak. Checking herself in the mirror that hung in the shadowy hall, Merri sighed, a long, heartfelt sigh for all she had lost. An involuntary expression of sadness for the lost lives of both her parents, coupled to the loss of her life that just might have been. Still she thought to herself briskly, no use crying over spilt milk. Wiping a tear from her eye she stepped out into the golden morning, brushing her bare legs against the warm fur of her only companion, Eric, her tabby cat who was hurrying in after a long night prowling the neighbourhood. She often wondered what strange sights he saw in the wee small hours. Were the streets and back alleyways populated by a different set of inhabitants while the rest of the world slept?
‘How wrong can you be?’ thought Merri as she opened the door to PDQ’s office and a wall of warm air hit her like a foolish motorist opening his car window in the middle of Death Valley. The temperature seemed to rise by one degree per stair as she climbed to the first floor suite where she, manager Dave or D-Z (pronounced Dizzy) worked with a small group of creatives in a suite of seven rooms.
“Is the air con broken” she asked a petite blonde called P-W (Penny Wilson, aka Pow) who was monopolising the water cooler. She grunted before replying “It’s Dizzy’s latest ploy to get the Misthaze shopping centre account.” Merri knew all about this, the local mall was promoting itself as a green venue by turning off their climate control, hence Dave’s decision to switch of theirs. She moved through the open plan office cheerily greeting the other staff members who seemed to be boiling already. She dreaded to think how they would all feel by the afternoon. In fact they would all feel cool and refreshed, but at that time Merry had no inkling how the day would progress.
“Wow, I know I always thought the air con was too high, but there was no need for this” Merri turned and smiled. “Morning Marion” Their part time accountant was always welcome. Merri viewed as a kindred spirit, level headed and sensible. A veritable pillar of the community, although she had a nagging doubt about her daughter’s actions.
“Hello Marion,” said Dave, “I hope you’re pleased with our concern for the environment”
“I would have appreciated a little warning, Dave” Marion ignored the latest office fad for initials “I’d have worn a little less”
“It’s your daughter’s fault” he retorted, “She started this…by wearing a lot less!”
“You don’t have to follow all that rubbish” Marion complained, “She’s hardly likely to march around here demanding you turn off the air con”
“it’s a little more complicated” H-S, (Harry Smith, pronounced Hiss) a pleasant looking, long haired lad, explained “You see we’re up for the Mall’s contract and they are following the air con bad message” he gulped on some coffee before adding “Saves them money, they’ve no real scruples”
Merri left them to their discussion to check the answer phone. The first call was from Miles Jones the director of the Misthaze centre. He confirmed his appointment for three that afternoon. Merry hoped they would be ready, but she doubted this.
Her suspicions were confirmed later in the morning by a very sweaty M-S (Melainie Smith or Mess).
“We’re nowhere Em” she told her as she inspected two large wet patches on her pale pink silk blouse, “Do you think these will come out?”
“Oh yes, a bit of biological will sort that”
“It won’t ruin the material?”
“Not if you use a very low temperature, Mess”
The whole office consulted Merri on just about everything except for affairs of the heart. They saw her as an old spinster left on the shelf, a shrivelled virgin who had never felt the sting of Cupid’s darts. On that account they were wrong for she had had her day once, many years ago when she was a fresh faced, eighteen. Back then, she had a boy friend called Chris who she loved deeply. She had even made up her mind to have sex with him. Merri had planned it all, a secluded picnic in the woods after which she would allow the unsuspecting Chris to seduce her. She had even chosen the date, a day late in her monthly cycle when pregnancy would be highly unlikely. Merri had always been pragmatic. Sadly it was never to be; her poor father put paid to that. The very Sunday before what was in her mind as the biggest event in her life so far he contrived to upstage her passage from maid to woman. Merri remembered the day well, how could she ever forget? They had just left church, and she and her mother were admiring the rose bushes that were in full flower, Merri could still remember their heady smell that hung in the fresh summer air. Her father, who stood as a rock around which the family was anchored, was talking to the vicar. She could still remember the warm rhythm of his words, his deep voice sounding across the crunch yard. Then there was a cry and a quiet crunch as the gravel gave way under an unexpected mass. In sudden panic Merri turned to see her father slumped on the ground; his left arm quivering as the priest kneeled, muttering quiet words of prayer. Inside Merri boiled; she felt like shouting, “he needs cardiac massage. Don’t just kneel there, help him” She had ran across the churchyard, scattering small stones, with her mother behind her screaming but all Merri could hear was their friend and neighbour Jack Filey speaking desperately in hushed tones to his phone. But the heart attack was too big, the ambulance too slow. Merri’s life also ended in a way on that summer’s day, for her mother, who was never strong went spiralling into a decline and Merri was slowly sucked into her whirlpool of illness and despair, and so she was gradually pulled her away from all she knew. It was twelve years before her mother finally shuffled off her mortal coil leaving Merry a lone survivor, blinking on a sunlit beach with an ocean of experience before her yet to be explored.
Rebuilding had been slow, it had taken her months to build a small circle of friends, first flower arranging at church, then the swimming club, and finally the biggest hurdle of all, this job at PDQ. Mess broke into Merri’s reverie, “I could certainly use a lower temperature myself. Any chance Dizzy’s going to turn the ac back on?”
“I doubt it; he’s keen on this contract”
It was a slow day for the creatives, sometimes they whizzed, ideas tumbling from them faster than storm waves on a winter shore. Today the ideas were lake water lapping on an idling rowing boat. At eleven o’clock a meeting was called. Dizzy ran the whole gamut of despair, his team had deserted him, the contract was as unattainable as a desert mirage. Fortunately for Merri a caller at the door necessitated her to leave at this point.
“Hello Marion, you’re back, I see you’ve changed into something more suitable” said Merri noticing Marion’s thin summer dress.
“Not for much longer I fear” replied Marion rather mysteriously, “Bella, let me introduce to my daughter, Isla and this is her boyfriend Henri”
Merri had, of course, recognised Isla from the newspapers, “how do you do” she greeted them both shaking hands, “come to offer some advice?”
“Oh yes” replied Isla confidently
“Well they are all in a meeting, come on through” Merri said warmly as she ushered them towards the conference room. She led them in and stayed while Marion introduced her daughter and Henri to the small workforce.
Merri enquired if anyone needed a cold drink. This was like asking the pope if he wanted a service on a Sunday, as the room was hotter than a volcano. When she returned a few moments later it was instantly clear little progress had been made.
“Well no” Henri was telling them animatedly “we weren’t able to come up with any better slogans, that was one of our problems. Even ‘I’d rather have nothing on than have air con on’ was pinched from someone else” The whole room looked dejected, they were getting nowhere fast.
“Look,” said Isla, “I’m not in advertising, but even I can see you’re not going to get anywhere in this atmosphere, it’s far too hot”
“Well I could switch the air con back on” began D-Z. Merri and the rest of the staff looked longingly at him, tongues hanging out like puppy dogs waiting for their master to throw the ball. Isla on the other hand gave him to look of death, “That would rather defeat the object, don’t you think”
Isla looked around the room at the worn out faces and beamed, Merri started to become very worried indeed. Not as worried as she was a moment later when Isla told them they should follow her slogan.
“My slogan” Henri reminded her as fear gripped Merri warmly by the throat.
“I suppose we could” muttered D-Z “it would show how serious we were.”
Merri’s heart stopped beating at this point, surely he didn’t mean, he couldn’t. She was aware the others were talking, but her brain wasn’t processing the words. It was like a sporting match where the vision was fine but the sound signal had been lost. The conference room was the field of play and her colleagues the players in the game. She watched in a detached way as they ran around the in fury all arms gesticulating in silent animation, but the sense of occasion was lost on her. By the time normal service had been resumed it was all over, the final whistle had been blown. The naked office was on.
Marion turned to Merri “you haven’t said anything, Bella.”
“You don’t have to join us Em” Dave told her gently, before quickly adding “Don’t take that the wrong way, we would love you to join us, but…..”
There was a general low hum that indicated that agreement of her colleagues
Merri knew what they were thinking, dry wizened old spinster, old fashioned and prim, only naked for a shower.
“Tell you what” Marion told her “I will if you will” Like the watcher of the skies the whole attention of the room moved away from Merri and focussed on the new plant in their ken, Marion who, in their minds marched to the same drummer’s beat as Merri.
Someone said “In that case count me in” The whole room’s attention swung back to Merri, who was gradually realising that it had been her voice that spoke.
The silence was broken by Isla who was clearly becoming exasperated by the whole affair.
“Right, we’ll stay in here and you men can go somewhere else?” she looked enquiringly at Dave “The gents” he said. This drew a drone of distaste, “alright my office”
“I’ll come and get you when we are ready” Isla informed them as they trooped out contemplating the size of their midriffs. They had barely closed the door before Isla was naked, but then considering her the amount of practice she had this should have surprised nobody. What was a shock to Merri and the two other girls, Mess and Pow, was the speed at which her mother joined her in the altogether. The sight of her all over tan was both an answer and a wake up call.
“Tanlines” Pow spat out, removing her low cut top, to reveal a pink push up bra. Mess had other worries, “If only it known I’d have had a trim down there” she confided as she slipped out of her grey pencil skirt.
These were the least of Merri’s worries. She had no tan to speak of and her weekly outings to the ladies only swimming days at the Waterloo centre had taught her the benefit of ensuring no stray hairs peeked out from the lycra. Her worries were more in the line of stripping. Suddenly, with no warning her mind slipped back to the time before her father died, when she had aspirations of a normal life. She remembered quiet days in the summer, when the house was empty, no sound beyond the ticking of the clock in the silent hallway. Those were the days when she had planned for her liaison with Chris. She had it all worked out, the meal, the seduction and the strip before the final act of union. For days, alone in her bedroom, curtains closed against the peaking sun Merri had rehearsed her routine. First the plain white blouse, slowly, one button at a time, starting from the bottom. Then she paused, her flat white stomach bare, the outlines of her lacy bra just visible. Merri stood still for a brief moment, chin down, looking up. More of her diaphanous bra was exposed as she reached to let down her long brown hair. Free from its band, she shook it loose, giving her audience a brief glimpse of her protruding nipples pushing out from the fabric of her underwear. Then, reaching behind her she unzipped her thin red skirt. This bought her slim shoulders back, emphasising her full breasts. With a flick of her hips she allowed the skirt to fall to the ground. Then, she stepped forward, out of her fallen skirt leaving it and her sandals behind. The part opened blouse hung well below her waist, hiding her hips but the outline of her dark patch of pubic hair was plainly visible through the lace in her clean, white, high cut knickers. Slowly she let the blouse fall from her shoulders to join the rest of her clothing. With no pause, just a seductive smile, Merri reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, this done she dropped her shoulders to emphasise her cleavage. Quickly she let it fall releasing her full, firm breasts with their small cherry nipples. Turning away, she looked back at the mirror and, with a lascivious smile she leant forward, pushing her rounded buttocks towards her audience. Then with both hands she slipped her thumbs inside either side of her knickers and slowly rolled them down her firm thighs. Standing suddenly with her last item of clothing held at arms length between her thumb and forefinger she turned to face the mirror. Dropping the last of her underwear Merri stepped forward to the imagined seduction that was destined never to take place.
“Are you alright Em?” asked Pow. Merri snapped out of her reverie. Unconsciously she had already begun the long forgotten act, standing before her colleagues with her blouse open.
“Sorry just a bit much to take in” she said apologetically.
“For you and us all,” said Mess, “except of course young Isla” Although neither Mess or Pow were too sure about Marion anymore. Merri switched quickly to her swimming pool routine, folding her clothes neatly as she undressed. When she was naked she reached automatically for her costume, but of course it wasn’t there, and it was never going to be. Standing awkwardly, arms by her side she looked at her two colleagues. They were alike, pencil thin with sharp breasts pointing accusingly at her. Their faces held a look that Merri could only translate as astonishment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked shyly. She felt intimidated by their nudity, their bodies part tanned, with long legs and small patches of pubic hair.
“Merri” said Mess quietly, “let down your hair”
Merri did as she was told, suddenly realising that everyone was looking at her.
Mess spoke for the room. “Talk about hiding yourself away, you sure are one hell of a swan Merri”
“What me?”
“Oh yes, you, I don’t know why I was worried about trimming the lawn, ‘cos one thing’s for certain, nobody’s going to be looking at me!”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you mean”
“Bella,” said Marion kindly, “you’re gorgeous,” she pointed to a mirror in the corner “look at yourself”
Merri didn’t need to look at herself, she already knew what she looked like. It was the sight of the rest of the flesh that was new. With no reference points she had rather assumed she had an average body, but looking at the two skinny girls standing shyly before her Merri swiftly revised her opinions. She had previously seen Mess and Pow as sirens, pulling unsuspecting men into their, what was now revealed to be not so ample bosoms. Now, stripped bare of their camouflage, they were diminished, two stick insects next to Merri’s queen bee.
Isla interrupted tersely. Merri was nothing, she had Suzie Blackwell for competition. “Enough of this preening ladies, I’ll go get the chaps”
Merri swallowed hard, here she was naked at work, being gawped at by her equally bare colleagues and now her first naked males were about to be delivered. Within seconds the first penis she had ever seen hove into view. What an odd little appendage she thought. She knew they could get bigger, but the mechanism by which such a floppy flaccid object could become large enough, and stiff enough to fit inside her vagina was unfathomable.
For a few moments the employees of the PDQ agency stared as silently as stout Cortez gazing on the Pacific. They took it all in, and would probably have done so for an age if Marion hadn’t intervened and set them all to work.
Merri busied herself with the photocopier which had run out of toner. She was the only one in the office who could replace the cartridge without getting toner all over her clothes. Today she was all fingers and thumbs, dropping the cartridge and nearly getting covered in ink. ‘Oh well she thought, at least it would have wiped off. One bonus to working in the nude’ She wondered if there were others, she certainly no longer felt hot under the collar.
She took lunch as usual at her desk, except it wasn’t usual at all she thought brushing breadcrumbs from her breasts. The leather of her office chair felt smooth and cool on her back, contrasting with the roughness of the small hand towel she had found in the store room to sit on. Her phone buzzed just as she was scolding herself for spilling orange juice on herself. Dizzy was calling a meeting in the conference room. Merri grabbed her towel and unconsciously brushed away some breadcrumbs that had nestled in her pubic hair. She headed quickly through the door, almost bumping into Hiss in her hurry. “After you, Em” he said politely. As she walked along the narrow corridor that led to the conference room she suddenly realised that Hiss had an excellent view of her bare behind. Still, she preferred him scrutinising her bottom to the alternative.
Shorn of their clothes the ideas had flowed from the creative team. Hours ago thye were nowhere, now they had an outline for the campaign. Merri had to admit it was slick and fizzed with ieas.
“Ok” Dizzy told them, “tidy it up and get it ready for Mr Jones” He paused looking sheepishly around his small company, “I’d like Pow and Mess to do the presentation” Utter silence filled the room like the gulfs between the stars “Er I know it’s sexist but, you know….” He would have looked at his shoes if he was wearing any “You have to play to your strengths”
“Yes, you’re right” Mess told him, “I’ll need to pop out to get some stuff first” she told him
“What sort of stuff” asked a puzzled Hiss
“Girlie stuff” Pow and Mess answered in unison.
Dizzy cleared his throat, a gentle polite, noise much like a well brought up toad. “I don’t suppose you could join us Em?” he croaked
Merri beamed, “Of course” she replied. Mess and Pow nodded. No point in leaving your star centre forward on the bench for the big match.
Miles Jones had never looked forward to a meeting so much in his life. Usually he kept people waiting, Being punctual meant you weren’t’ busy enough. Time was money and unless he was paying for somebody’s time he wasted it. But the opportunity to cast an eye over naked totty changed everything, if the staff of PDQ were desperate enough to prance around stark bullock naked to get his attention, he would give them all the time they wanted. Not that he was interested in the bollocks bit, Dizzy and his similarly named arty farty boys could prance around in the nuddy till their balls froze off for all he cared, but there was a couple of foxy girls and he wouldn’t mind seeing what was in their knickers. He remembered them well, long legs and stilettos, short skirts so you could almost see their bums. Tight cut low blouses with plenty of cleavage on display. He rubbed his hands together with glee at the thought of those puppies let loose. Oh yes, today was going to be a good day he thought to himself as he rang the door bell.
The door was answered by a stunning brunette, who was wearing the attire he liked best. Absolutely sweet FA. Where did that fatuous moron Dizzy find this babe from, Miles thought to himself. The last time he was here he was greeted by that frumpy secretary of his, all plaid pleated skirt and ribbed blouse buttoned up to the neck, hair tied back in a Mary Poppins bun, and shoes too sensible for a nun. This was a great improvement he thought as his eyes darted up and down her firm flesh. She stood with her long legs slightly apart, one hand on her perfect hip while the other idly rubbed her back. He drooled as her firm pert breasts rose and fell in time with her breathing, His throat was dry and he almost swooned, as his eyes roamed up her firm legs as sturdy and perfectly formed as an alabaster statue. She had kept her pubic hair, he liked that in a woman, and this specemin before him was undoubtedly a woman. He stood and admired her perfect curls, purring like a tom cat as he gazed at the thicker darker hair that nearly, but not quite, covered the twin swellings that led to her vagina. It seemed like an age to him but in reality it was only a few seconds, as he stood in the doorway grinning inanely at her body before he met this heavenly creatures eyes. Then he really got a shock, for the Aphrodite standing naked before him was that frumpy secretary. In that instant, as their eyes met Merri knew the contract was won.
That evening Merri floated home on a tide of champagne. After the deal had been signed, Dizzy had insisted that all go out for a celebratory meal. Merri didn’t usually mix socially with the others, preferring to retreat to the solitude of her quiet house with it’s calm familiar rhythms. But how often do you spend time naked with people? It had changed her perspective, engendering a deep trust. With these new bonds she felt she could venture a little further from the safety of the shore.
Their discussion was all on their day and the adventure they had faced. Pow and Miss felt they had taken most of the blows, standing naked at the screen, both as thin as rakes, with long legs accentuated by the high heels they hastily purchased that afternoon. Their cosmetic worries were also salved. Both now sported all over tans as even as Marion Shaw’s, but to Merri’s eyes there was a touch of orange that just wasn’t there on the firm’s account, who, fortunately had gone home, preventing any opportunity of comparison. Their concern’s over having a few hairs out of place had been dealt with too, although to Merri’s eyes they had used a combine harvester in place of a pair of garden secateurs, and both their vulvas had stood out like twin scars on their flat featureless torsos.
Poor Mr Jones didn’t know where to look, his eyes were flitting everywhere, he appeared to be desperately trying to concentrate on the screen, but the presence of all that naked flesh made it so hard for him. Mess and Pow laughed heartily when Merri told them this.
“Listen, Em the only thing he was concentrating on was the swelling in his pants” Pow told her bluntly.
“And frankly” continued Mess, “you were the main distraction”
Merri could feel the heat in her face, she had never considered herself as an object of attraction, but here she was sitting with her two co workers, both of whom again oozed a sensuality that had already acquired much attention from a few fellow diners. And they were telling her she was a sex symbol.
Before she could pursue this line of thought further Merri’s bus had arrived at her stop. Thanking the driver as was her wont, she alighted and walked along the familiar summer streets to her home. Her cat, Eric greeted her with all the haughty distain of his species. Merri filled his bowl with milk before getting herself a cool glass of water. The champagne, coupled with the intense heat that hung sullenly in the air of the closed house induced a great weariness. Shedding her clothes for the second time that day Merri indulged herself in a long cool shower. Suitably refreshed she reached for the robe that usually hung behind the door. Uncharacteristically she had forgotten to put it there, so she wrapped her towel around her body before heading towards her bedroom. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks. What was she doing? She had spent the whole afternoon stark naked in front of her colleagues and now she was covering herself to walk from her bathroom to her bedroom in an empty house. Removing the towel she folded it carefully and hung it on the towel rail, and gingerly, and bizarrely for the first time in her life, stepped onto the landing of her house with no clothes on. She tiptoed towards her bedroom, as if in fear of being caught. She caught herself again, what was she thinking, tomorrow she was going to spend the whole day naked at work, what was the point of getting dressed now. The house was swelteringly warm, and completely empty. Pulling herself together she walked down the stairs and along the hallway Just before she reached the lounge she caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror by the front door, and finally, she allowed herself to see what Miles Jones, Mess and Pow and all the others had seen.
“Oh my, Merri look at you” she told herself. After an hour watching television Merri felt extremely comfortable, for a few moments she even forgot she was naked.
‘Perhaps I’m a nudist’ she thought, and then laughed at the notion. She had no idea what a nudist was. There was only one way to find out. Switching on her computer she typed it into her search engine. She was very surprised to find there was a nudist, or naturist facility within three miles, in fact her bus home had passed by the gates. Merri had always assumed the Sandydunes Sun Club was a health farm. Now she knew otherwise it was so obvious, the high hedges, the gate set well back from the road with its entrance guarded by a security code.
Its website by contrast was more than welcoming, having detailed pages for current members and those who may just be thinking of giving it a go. There was even a quiz to see if you might just be a naturist. Merri giggled to herself as she looked at the questions.
The only pale I’m naked is in the bath with the door firmly locked. That would have been a yes this morning, but now, she dropped her gaze and smiled.
Next question, nobody would want to stare at that ugly carcase of mine. Well she had pretty good evidence for ticking the box marked no.
The rest of the questions were about the feel of the sun and the breeze on your bare body, and the pleasure of skinny dipping. Nothing, however, about working in the buff. Well, she could do nothing about skinny dipping, but the feel of the sun and the breeze was a definite possibility. Before she could change her mind and back out Merri opened the patio doors and stepped out. There was no danger of being seen, but then that cat was well and truly out of the bag anyway. ‘That’s settled,’ she thought, ‘I can tick another two yes boxes’
“Oh what the hell” she muttered as she sat back down in front of the computer, “What are you doing Merri?”
But there it was in big letters, ‘Give it a go, we want you to join us’ Merri read on, and realised that they didn’t want you if you were single and male, but if you were female there wasn’t even a waiting list. She looked sown at her body, that until today she had hidden away in unflattering clothing. Now here she was, a butterfly shorn of its cocoon, sitting naked in her empty house, with a full day of naked work ahead, and yet new eyes free to roam over her bare skin.
She smiled again as she turned back to the keyboard as with an email address and a few clicks of a computer mouse Emaline Mirabelle Conway left that lonely life behind.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
nineteen to 22
Twenty
The scorching afternoon dissolved into a warm evening as Isla related her stories of notoriety. Finally Marion interrupted “I think it is time to start cooking dinner, you weren’t planning on going out?”
“Oh no” replied Isla who was a little concerned about visiting her old haunts now everyone she had ever known had seen her naked. She thought she would just die if she met her old headmistress in the street.
“It’ll be about half an hour, I’m sure you need to freshen up.”
This was Marion’s way of telling them both they smelt. Isla took the hint. Henri who had been smelling his stale sweat for a some time now was grateful of the opportunity for a shower.
“Right ho” replied Henri, “I’m afraid I haven’t brought anything smart.”
“Oh, no need to dress, we’re quite casual here.” Before Isla could comment her mother turned to her “Henri’s in the attic room”
“Dad!” complained Isla turning towards her father. She knew very well who to blame.
“I’m sorry about this” Isla told Henri as she led him up the stairs to the attic.
“Oh that’s alright, it’s their house. My parents were the same when my sister’s boyfriend came to stay.”
“Yes, but I’ll never be able to sneak up here without them hearing” complained Isla.
Henry grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. “We don’t have to restrict ourselves to night time manoeuvres” he whispered into her ear.
“Or indoors either” she told him, her breath felt hot his neck, “I know a spot in the wood that’s just perfect”
“Won’t that be hard on your back?” Henri suggested.
“Yes, but not on yours” She gave him a playful slap on the backside as crossed the room to the window. He looked dawn on the garden. It was like a medieval maze with bushes all over the place. Next door a woman in shorts and a skimpy pink top was watering some plants with a hose. She was tall and thin, wide at the hips, with long blonde hair. ‘The naked woman behind the green door’ thought Henri ‘maybe tomorrow when the sun is out..’ he’d keep an eye open.
“Who’d have thought it?” Isla muttered looking over his shoulder, “Linda wandering around naked?”
“You set the trend babe” he told her
“And I’m the best” she said as she removed her top.
“What are you doing, we’re expected downstairs in ten minutes” exclaimed Henri
“I’m taking a shower” replied Isla
“What if your parents come in?”
She laughed, they won’t it’s you room. They’ll hear the shower and think it’s you” she replied as she removed the rest of her clothes.
“Please Isla, I’ve only just got your dad onside”
She put her hand on her bare hip, and wiggled her waist, “Well if you don’t want to have a shower with me…”
“Oh come on babe, you know there is nothing I would like better, but this is not the place nor the time.”
She smiled, picked up her clothes and walked naked from the room, “I’ll just have to shower downstairs then.”
Henri cleaned himself up as quickly as he could, chose the cleanest clothes he could find and tiptoed downstairs. He was relieved to hear Isla singing in the shower as this enabled him to get downstairs without being dragged into her bedroom.
Isla had showered and was drying her hair when she remembered her mother’s comment.
“Oh, no need to dress, we’re quite casual here.”
As quickly as she could she dashed upstairs to warn Henri of what her mother meant went she had said dress was casual. But Henri had already gone. Isla sprinted down the stairs in the vein hope of catching him before he went into the kitchen and got the shock of his life.
Too late. Isla burst into the kitchen and there was Henri drinking beer with her father as her mother plated up the starter of prawns and smoked salmon. What ever Isla had been about to say died on her lips. Henri, Brain and Marion stood frozen in time and speechless. They were also, more to the point, fully dressed.
“Ah” said Isla backing towards the door, “Sorry, er slight misunderstanding of the word casual”
“There’s no air conditioning here” Marion told her. “Well there’s no point scurrying off now, after all, the entire world’s seen you naked. Sit down and eat your meal”
To Henri’s utter amazement Isla did just that. Having dinner with your girlfriend’s parents is always a difficult experience but to sit at the table making polite conversation while your girlfriend sits next to you stark naked made the experience a whole lot worse. Throughout the meal Brain and Marion kept asking him questions.
“What are you reading at University?”
“What do your parents do?”
“What was it like growing up in Milton?”
“Have you any brothers and sisters?”
And Henri would drag his thoughts away from Isla’s breast with its pert pink nipple and the small brown moles either side, not quite in a line. And when he could drag his eyes away from her breasts they treacherously dropped to her alabaster thighs that were firmly crossed. He gazed speechless at the small tufts of jet black pubic hair that poked up, like young seedlings desperately seeking the sunlight.
He tried to answer the questions lucidly but he could hear himself fumbling, his answers rambling and incoherent. It would be understandable had he never seen Isla naked, but of course he had, everyone’s eyes had roamed free over her bare flesh. Nobody had explored her body quite as thoroughly as Henri, who had been over every inch, as well as investigating a few crevasses. Even so her nakedness unsettled him; and it showed.
This nervousness endeared Henri to Marion and Brian. They would have expected most men his age to have sat there with their tongues hanging out. Henri stared, but who could blame him for that. It seemed, however, he gaze was of astonishment where others would have displayed lust. Of course neither of Isla’s parents were thinking rationally either. The mere appearance of their daughter in all her glory had unsettled them. Even Marion, who had threatened to do the same on many occasions herself, was shaken by her daughter’s complete lack of shame.
She needn’t have worried on that score. Isla was certainly feeling the shame; she just tried not to let it show. How could she have been so stupid? What could have possessed her? Looking back over the last few months, it was true, she had hardly ever seen her mother in clothing, but as far as she knew only she and her father were privy to their naked lifestyle. How could she have been so blind, she should have realised her parents would never be naked in front of Henri.
But the moving finger having writ moves on and there was no going back. She had turned up for dinner in her birthday suit. Running away would merely have compounded her guilt. Isla had considered making a pretence of being cold and run upstairs to dress, but it wasn’t cold and, after all, she had one of the most famous bodies in the world now. Everyone had seen it, so why hide.
“It’s so hot” she announced, “I don’t know how you can bare it being dressed”
Her mother looked daggers at her, “perhaps you would help me serve the main course Isla” she demanded, rather than asked, as she rose from the table like a mastodon from the primeval swamp.
“What the hell do you think you’re playing at, Isla? Why are you naked?”
“I didn’t mean to come to dinner in the nude”
“It’s supposed to be a mistake?” asked her incredulous mother nearly dropping the steamed potatoes.
“I just forgot I was starkers that’s all”
“Oh what, so you spend so much time in the nuddy, you can’t remember if you’re wearing clothes or not!”
“Well just like you then” Isla replied, hackles beginning to rise.
“No not just like me, I remember to put some clothes on when we have some company”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“You seriously think I would greet your new boyfriend with just a smile?”
“Well clearly not, but how was I supposed to know?”
“What?”
“You said dress casual for dinner”
Marion waved her hands over her summer dress, “Yes, this is casual, for me”
“No it’s not” shouted Isla, “this is casual for you” waving her hands over her naked form.
Marion took her point. “Well you could have checked before you came barging in in your birthday suit”
“That’s exactly what I was trying to do, I came out of the shower and it suddenly hit me that you set casual, and by God mother when you usually say casual dress that means no dress at all”
A small cough broke into their argument. Brain stood at the doorway. “Er, we can hear you, you know”
That stopped them both, Marion looked at Isla “you better try and explain. Brain help me with his will you”
Henri was sitting bemused; he had heard the argument and witnessed the pain on Brain’s face. Isla slipped in and grabbed him by the hand and led him into the garden.
“I’m sorry about this hun” she told him.
“It’s cool” he replied, “Your family are nudists, it explains quite a lot about you”
“You don’t mind” she asked.
“No it’s fine” a cloud passed over Henri’s sunny face. “You don’t want me to join in to you?”
“Do you have a problem” An accusation rather than a question. Henri pondered for a moment
“No,” he appeared uncertain, then continued more confidently, “no I’ll be fine.” he deliberated again before asking “now?”
“No, not now I think it will take my parents a while to decide what to do”
“Oh right, you’re not planning on getting dressed are you”
Isla smiled and wiggled her hips suggestively. “I don’t know, what would you prefer”
“You know how much I admire your body” he told her with a lascivious smile. She smiled back.
“Nude it is then” she told him as he grinned, “but don’t get any ideas, there’ll be no night manoeuvres. You’ll just have to wait until morning” she told him firmly.
Several months ago Brian had enjoyed a meal due to the presence of his naked wife and also not enjoyed a meal due his bare daughter. Henri enjoyed the rest of the meal, who wouldn’t as he was sitting next to his girlfriend who was wearing a watch and a green wristband that identified her as a warrior of the environment. What preyed on his mind however was the looming presence of his girlfriend’s mother, who now she was outed as a nudist, may just join her daughter at the drop of a hat. Or in her case the drop of a summer dress.
“I’ve explained the situation to Henri and he understands” Isla told her parents.
“And what dear” began Marion as her husband looked on with all the futility of peasant charged with teaching a horse to sing, “have you told Henri”
“That we are nudists”
“Ah” replied Marion as Brian contemplated stabbing himself with his fork to test if this was a nightmare.
“Better out than in” she sighed. This was not a sentiment shared by her husband.
Henri felt he should say something “I did rather suspect, what with Isla’s penchant for strolling around naked.” The look on Brain’s face told him that his was probably not his finest contribution to the dinner table conversation. He’d already put his foot well and truly in it so Henri thought he might as well carry on. “So are you guys members of a club”
“Oh no” replied Marion “we’re not that type of nudist”
Brian winced at the sound of the N word.
“We’re just a trifle casual with our dress at home” Isla explained.
“And some of us outside as well!” put in Brian
“That’s a legitimate protest, dad” protested his daughter. But that was not what Brian was referring to.
“So what’s you position on nudity Henri” asked Marion in an attempt to steer the conversation away form her night time excursions.
“I’m easy” replied Henri, hoping this was vague enough. It was, so Isla decided to clear away any lasting confusion.
“Don’t worry, I’ve converted him, he’s fine with nudity now”
‘Please don’t say it’ Brian prayed fervently to himself.
“Well, in that case” said Marion, “maybe later in the week we can have that casual dinner, what do you say Isla”
Isla blushed all the way from her face to her pink puffy nipples
Henri just stared at Marion in her floral summer dress topped off with her best necklace. Would she be wearing just the pearls this time tomorrow he wondered, or would she be the complete nudist. His money was on the pearls.
Twenty one
The following morning Henri woke alone. Isla had been as good as her word and had not suddenly begun to sleepwalk. He read a book and listened to the sound of the house, the doors opening and closing, muffled conversations, the humming of hair driers. Finally the goodbyes of first Brian, and then Marion as they left for work. Henri laid down his book and waited for Isla. After a full fantasy laden quarter of an hour where Henri imaged all sorts of wild sex, he began to think that she wasn’t going to come. Perhaps she was waiting for him. Mindful that this was not his house Henri dressed in an old shirt and a pair of frankly disgusting shorts, and as quietly as he could descended the stairs to Isla’s room. It was empty. That was an exaggeration, it was actually stuffed full of cuddly toys, there were clothes everywhere, the dressing table was invisible under a pile of make up, hair starighteners, hair drier. What it lacked was the architect of this mess: Henri decided to widen his search.
He finally tracked Isla down to the kitchen where she lounged in a comfortable chair with the morning paper covering her modesty. She looked critically at her lover, “Why are you wearing those clothes”
“I didn’t know if your parents would still be here.”
“Well they’re not so you can get them off” Henri dutifully did as he was told. Isla sniffed the air. “And you haven’t had a shower”
“Well, I was only wondering if you were up, now I know, I’ll….” He wasn’t allowed to go any further.
“Oh you’re here now, what do you want for breakfast?”
“You” replied Henri with a big grin.
“You can have me later” Isla gave him a sly look, “first something to eat, you need to keep your strength up!”
He smiled as he sat down on the chair and settled back to watch the show. His eyes wandered freely over her bare flesh. The curve of her calves, the tiny tufts of hair that poked through the back of her thighs. She caught him staring and smiled as she sat opposite him, her small breasts brushing the table.
“Did you enjoy last night?” she asked licking her lips suggestively.
“Yes, I was a bit worried, but your parents seemed very nice”
“That’s not what I meant” she said firmly. “Did you enjoy looking at me, in all my glory?”
“You know I love to watch your body” he replied watching her rounded buttocks as she bent over to put the dirty plates in the dishwasher, “did you enjoy it, being the only one naked?”
Isla smiled as she stood; hand on one hip, the bright light from the window sparking in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be the only one in the buff now……. if my mother got back early.”
Henri panicked, and then caught himself. It’s not often a young man could give a plausible explanation for being found naked in his host’s kitchen, with the host’s naked daughter. If Marion walked in now he could brazenly shake her hand with no more said, provided he remained seated. Should he stand there would be than his right hand outstretched.
Isla drifted around the kitchen like a dream, clearing the rest of the dishes. Then with a flourish she pulled away the white line table cloth that Henri had been using as a hide. Isla grinned mischievously, placed her finger in her mouth and started to suck on it. She looked over the edge of the table to observe the result.
“I think it’s playtime” she said with a grin.
Henri got up and grabbed hand, pulling her towards the door. Isla pulled back.
“No here” she told him pushing herself up onto the table, legs open. She shivered briefly as she lay back on the smooth polished wood.
One minute later following a series of groans and high pitched squeaks, both Henri and Isla got the message. The table wasn’t up for it. They however were, so with all their bits bouncing, and giggling manically in anticipation they raced each other up the stairs to the more receptive bed in the attic room.
Two hours later they were woken by the sound of the telephone. Isla dashed down to her bedroom. She returned in animated conversation.
“Yes of course I’ll sponsor you”
“What’s it for?”
To Henri’s ears the voice in Isla’s earphone sounded like an angry hornet.
“What do you have to do?”
Or perhaps a bee, flitting from flower, to summer flower.
“You’re going to do what? This I have to see”
The bee buzzed and buzzed for at least a minute.
“Is that all?” Isla replied condescendingly before ending the call with “One thirty, Marlborough Arms, see you there Alice”
“Who was that?” asked Henri
“My old school friend”
“I take it we’re going out”
“Indeed we are; mind if I use the shower here?”
“Be my guest, mind if I join you?”
They were nearly late for the old school reunion.
There was no naked dinner with Isla and her parents that evening. It was well past one in the morning when the two of them staggered drunkenly into the house. With theatrical whispers they staggered up the stairs. Isla bade Henri a cheery goodnight and closed her bedroom door from the outside. Barely surpassing her laughter she followed Henri as quietly as she could in her inebriated state up the stairs to the attic room.
It was a poor deception which only half worked. It fooled Brain for the simple reason he was fast asleep. Unfortunately for Isla her mother was wide awake and knew precisely what was going on. On the plus side Marion didn’t really care. When she was Isla’s age, she was already pregnant, so there was no point in trying to take the moral high ground. In fact Marion was pleased her daughter was otherwise engaged as she had a little excursion of her own planned. As the sounds of muffled passion leaked down the stairwell, Marion slipped as silently as Isla had thought she was from the bed and tiptoed downstairs and out into the silent midsummer night.
Henri woke at some ungodly hour with a pain in his bladder. He knew it was early as it was not yet dawn. He fumbled his way towards the bathroom and relieved himself. Still half drunk he fell back into the bed which complained at this rough handling.
“Ouch,” moaned Isla, “did you have to dig me in the ribs” she pushed him away and, completely disorientated he fell onto the floor, where he sat awkwardly rubbing his head. “Quiet will you, do you want to wake my parents?”
“You pushed me out” he whispered, his voice rich with injustice.
“I’d better be going” she whispered giving him a mohito flavoured kiss, “where are my clothes?”
“You took them off before we got here”
“Oh right,” she said, stopping suddenly. “Henri, come here a minute”
Ever eager, he was by her side, fondling her bare behind. “Stop that” she demanded as she pointed out of the window “look there”
“Where?”
“There, in the lane behind the fence”
“There’s someone out there” Henri gulped “I swear they haven’t got any clothes on”
The bare form flitted into the shadows and was gone. Moments later a flash of flesh crossed a patch of moonlit ground. It was only a glimpse, but that was enough to confirm to both of them that the naked form was female.
“Did you recognize her” asked Henri
“Too far away.”
But their minds were as one. They’d been told two days ago and they hadn’t forgotten.
“That kid was telling the truth”
“So Linda’s the naked angel” whispered Isla
“The what?”
Isla told Henri the story of the cook, his stroke, and his mythical rescuer.
“Wow” was all he could say
“The question now is what shall we do? Julie Lewis has been hunting this story since it broke, she’d love to know who it was. Should we tell her?”
Before Henri could reply the click of a bedroom door echoed through the house.
“Damn” whispered Isla who shot out of the room.
Henri listened intently but nothing further disturbed the quiet of the very early morning in Belvoir Avenue. He returned to the window, but the lane now was empty. Presently he went back to bed and fell asleep. As usual he dreamt of naked women.
Twenty two
The catch, when it came, was sudden and unexpected. Henri and Isla were enjoying a leisurely late morning drink on the sun drenched patio. Henri was as observant as a bird, attentive to every sound from the other side of the hedge where the mysterious naked neighbour, Linda, lived. He stared constantly at the thick privet, desperately trying to see through it. The slightest indication of a presence drove him to his feet, pacing the patio looking for the smallest sliver of bare flesh through the green. It was during one of these excursions that he was taken by surprise, like a harvest mouse caught in the open hearing the sudden screech of the tawny owl.
“It’s nice out isn’t it?” said Marion in a cheerful voice. As his trousers were still up in his bedroom Henri was not able to put it back in again. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. Fortunately neither Isla nor her mother seemed to notice let alone care.
“You’re back early, Mum”
Henri gulped, all he wanted was to be reunited with his clothes, but Marion was blocking the door, and now she seemed happy to chat. “I’m soaked with sweat,” she complained, that advertising agency had the air con off”
“Well that’s good” commented Isla at her most saintly.
“Well yes, if you’re dressed for it. The place was colder than an Alaskan dog kennel yesterday. I’m going to slip into something more casual” As she disappeared into the cool dark interior Henri came out of the blocks faster than an Olympic sprinter who had sat on a porcupine.
“Whoa, big boy, where do you think you’re going?” asked Isla.
“I’m going to get my clothes before your mother gets back.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t sit her in the buff talking to her, it’s bad enough she caught me in the nude”
“And where do you think she has gone?”
“She’s diplomatically got out of the way so I can go and get dressed.”
“Exactly the opposite” said Isla.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Then Henri understood what it meant “Oh, er, right”
And suddenly with the words “Well that’s better” Marion was there. Henri realised he had never seen anyone of that age naked before. He had once walked into the bathroom at home while his mother was in the shower, but had managed to beat a hasty retreat before he could catch a glimpse of flesh. Bizarrely he had been more worried than her. In fact she had found it quite amusing and teased him remorselessly in front of his sisters who also found it amusing until one of them had a thought. In Henri’s experience thought and his sisters’ minds occupied separate universes, but somehow an idea managed to bridge the gap and settle momentarily in Annie’s cerebrum.
“Oh my God,” she squealed, “what if it had been me, I’d have just died”
“No you wouldn’t Annie.” Replied their mother “Do you think you’ve got anything different under those clothes? We’re all the same, do you want to see mine and compare private bits?” She started to unbutton her blouse. This brought on a storm of protest from both his sisters while Henri looked at his shoes. Their mother stopped and smiled “There’s nothing wrong with nudity, as you’ll find out one day”
Well this was Henri’s day alright. Despite the teasing he had seen nothing of his mother’s body. The mere outline of her flesh though the translucent shower curtain had been enough to send him flying to his room. He would have the done the same now but for Isla. So here he sat, trapped with his naked girlfriend and her equally naked mother. He had expected Marion’s body to wrinkled, like an old dry leaf with only the memory of the summer that had gone. He was pleasantly surprised to find quite the opposite. Her skin was as smooth as her daughter’s although it had to be said there was somewhat more of Marion than Isla. What would his mother and sisters say now he wondered? This was more than an idle daydream, they knew he was dating one of the most famous nudes on the planet. He had told his mother just before the protests began, as he had expected countrywide television coverage to show him standing on the sidelines. His family had followed Isla’s progress with interest. To his twin sister Amelie she was a green heroine, someone to be looked up to , but perhaps not followed. His elder sister Annie though it all disgusting. His parents position was ambiguous, the only comment had come from his mother, who after seeing Isla parading stark naked around the Sapphire Shopping Mall told him “She looks nice dear”
What they would make of her in the flesh? He’d find out soon as in a weeks time they were going north to meet his folks. He just hoped that meeting Isla in the flesh didn’t mean just that. Could she keep her clothes on for a week? He fervently hoped she would, but deep down he knew there would an unveiling at some point. Then what would happen, would Amelie emulate her heroine, would their mother carry out the threat she had dangled before them all those years ago. One thing was certain, Annie would walk out.
“So how was work” Isla broke into his reverie
“Like I said hot” replied her mother “and its all you fault”
“How’s it my fault”
“Well there’s an advertising campaign for the “Air con con” at the mall and they’re making a bid”
“So”
“So they have switched the air con off to impress the clients”
“Oh well” said Isla haughtily from her vantage point on the moral high ground “they could always go naked, like our slogan says”
The scorching afternoon dissolved into a warm evening as Isla related her stories of notoriety. Finally Marion interrupted “I think it is time to start cooking dinner, you weren’t planning on going out?”
“Oh no” replied Isla who was a little concerned about visiting her old haunts now everyone she had ever known had seen her naked. She thought she would just die if she met her old headmistress in the street.
“It’ll be about half an hour, I’m sure you need to freshen up.”
This was Marion’s way of telling them both they smelt. Isla took the hint. Henri who had been smelling his stale sweat for a some time now was grateful of the opportunity for a shower.
“Right ho” replied Henri, “I’m afraid I haven’t brought anything smart.”
“Oh, no need to dress, we’re quite casual here.” Before Isla could comment her mother turned to her “Henri’s in the attic room”
“Dad!” complained Isla turning towards her father. She knew very well who to blame.
“I’m sorry about this” Isla told Henri as she led him up the stairs to the attic.
“Oh that’s alright, it’s their house. My parents were the same when my sister’s boyfriend came to stay.”
“Yes, but I’ll never be able to sneak up here without them hearing” complained Isla.
Henry grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. “We don’t have to restrict ourselves to night time manoeuvres” he whispered into her ear.
“Or indoors either” she told him, her breath felt hot his neck, “I know a spot in the wood that’s just perfect”
“Won’t that be hard on your back?” Henri suggested.
“Yes, but not on yours” She gave him a playful slap on the backside as crossed the room to the window. He looked dawn on the garden. It was like a medieval maze with bushes all over the place. Next door a woman in shorts and a skimpy pink top was watering some plants with a hose. She was tall and thin, wide at the hips, with long blonde hair. ‘The naked woman behind the green door’ thought Henri ‘maybe tomorrow when the sun is out..’ he’d keep an eye open.
“Who’d have thought it?” Isla muttered looking over his shoulder, “Linda wandering around naked?”
“You set the trend babe” he told her
“And I’m the best” she said as she removed her top.
“What are you doing, we’re expected downstairs in ten minutes” exclaimed Henri
“I’m taking a shower” replied Isla
“What if your parents come in?”
She laughed, they won’t it’s you room. They’ll hear the shower and think it’s you” she replied as she removed the rest of her clothes.
“Please Isla, I’ve only just got your dad onside”
She put her hand on her bare hip, and wiggled her waist, “Well if you don’t want to have a shower with me…”
“Oh come on babe, you know there is nothing I would like better, but this is not the place nor the time.”
She smiled, picked up her clothes and walked naked from the room, “I’ll just have to shower downstairs then.”
Henri cleaned himself up as quickly as he could, chose the cleanest clothes he could find and tiptoed downstairs. He was relieved to hear Isla singing in the shower as this enabled him to get downstairs without being dragged into her bedroom.
Isla had showered and was drying her hair when she remembered her mother’s comment.
“Oh, no need to dress, we’re quite casual here.”
As quickly as she could she dashed upstairs to warn Henri of what her mother meant went she had said dress was casual. But Henri had already gone. Isla sprinted down the stairs in the vein hope of catching him before he went into the kitchen and got the shock of his life.
Too late. Isla burst into the kitchen and there was Henri drinking beer with her father as her mother plated up the starter of prawns and smoked salmon. What ever Isla had been about to say died on her lips. Henri, Brain and Marion stood frozen in time and speechless. They were also, more to the point, fully dressed.
“Ah” said Isla backing towards the door, “Sorry, er slight misunderstanding of the word casual”
“There’s no air conditioning here” Marion told her. “Well there’s no point scurrying off now, after all, the entire world’s seen you naked. Sit down and eat your meal”
To Henri’s utter amazement Isla did just that. Having dinner with your girlfriend’s parents is always a difficult experience but to sit at the table making polite conversation while your girlfriend sits next to you stark naked made the experience a whole lot worse. Throughout the meal Brain and Marion kept asking him questions.
“What are you reading at University?”
“What do your parents do?”
“What was it like growing up in Milton?”
“Have you any brothers and sisters?”
And Henri would drag his thoughts away from Isla’s breast with its pert pink nipple and the small brown moles either side, not quite in a line. And when he could drag his eyes away from her breasts they treacherously dropped to her alabaster thighs that were firmly crossed. He gazed speechless at the small tufts of jet black pubic hair that poked up, like young seedlings desperately seeking the sunlight.
He tried to answer the questions lucidly but he could hear himself fumbling, his answers rambling and incoherent. It would be understandable had he never seen Isla naked, but of course he had, everyone’s eyes had roamed free over her bare flesh. Nobody had explored her body quite as thoroughly as Henri, who had been over every inch, as well as investigating a few crevasses. Even so her nakedness unsettled him; and it showed.
This nervousness endeared Henri to Marion and Brian. They would have expected most men his age to have sat there with their tongues hanging out. Henri stared, but who could blame him for that. It seemed, however, he gaze was of astonishment where others would have displayed lust. Of course neither of Isla’s parents were thinking rationally either. The mere appearance of their daughter in all her glory had unsettled them. Even Marion, who had threatened to do the same on many occasions herself, was shaken by her daughter’s complete lack of shame.
She needn’t have worried on that score. Isla was certainly feeling the shame; she just tried not to let it show. How could she have been so stupid? What could have possessed her? Looking back over the last few months, it was true, she had hardly ever seen her mother in clothing, but as far as she knew only she and her father were privy to their naked lifestyle. How could she have been so blind, she should have realised her parents would never be naked in front of Henri.
But the moving finger having writ moves on and there was no going back. She had turned up for dinner in her birthday suit. Running away would merely have compounded her guilt. Isla had considered making a pretence of being cold and run upstairs to dress, but it wasn’t cold and, after all, she had one of the most famous bodies in the world now. Everyone had seen it, so why hide.
“It’s so hot” she announced, “I don’t know how you can bare it being dressed”
Her mother looked daggers at her, “perhaps you would help me serve the main course Isla” she demanded, rather than asked, as she rose from the table like a mastodon from the primeval swamp.
“What the hell do you think you’re playing at, Isla? Why are you naked?”
“I didn’t mean to come to dinner in the nude”
“It’s supposed to be a mistake?” asked her incredulous mother nearly dropping the steamed potatoes.
“I just forgot I was starkers that’s all”
“Oh what, so you spend so much time in the nuddy, you can’t remember if you’re wearing clothes or not!”
“Well just like you then” Isla replied, hackles beginning to rise.
“No not just like me, I remember to put some clothes on when we have some company”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“You seriously think I would greet your new boyfriend with just a smile?”
“Well clearly not, but how was I supposed to know?”
“What?”
“You said dress casual for dinner”
Marion waved her hands over her summer dress, “Yes, this is casual, for me”
“No it’s not” shouted Isla, “this is casual for you” waving her hands over her naked form.
Marion took her point. “Well you could have checked before you came barging in in your birthday suit”
“That’s exactly what I was trying to do, I came out of the shower and it suddenly hit me that you set casual, and by God mother when you usually say casual dress that means no dress at all”
A small cough broke into their argument. Brain stood at the doorway. “Er, we can hear you, you know”
That stopped them both, Marion looked at Isla “you better try and explain. Brain help me with his will you”
Henri was sitting bemused; he had heard the argument and witnessed the pain on Brain’s face. Isla slipped in and grabbed him by the hand and led him into the garden.
“I’m sorry about this hun” she told him.
“It’s cool” he replied, “Your family are nudists, it explains quite a lot about you”
“You don’t mind” she asked.
“No it’s fine” a cloud passed over Henri’s sunny face. “You don’t want me to join in to you?”
“Do you have a problem” An accusation rather than a question. Henri pondered for a moment
“No,” he appeared uncertain, then continued more confidently, “no I’ll be fine.” he deliberated again before asking “now?”
“No, not now I think it will take my parents a while to decide what to do”
“Oh right, you’re not planning on getting dressed are you”
Isla smiled and wiggled her hips suggestively. “I don’t know, what would you prefer”
“You know how much I admire your body” he told her with a lascivious smile. She smiled back.
“Nude it is then” she told him as he grinned, “but don’t get any ideas, there’ll be no night manoeuvres. You’ll just have to wait until morning” she told him firmly.
Several months ago Brian had enjoyed a meal due to the presence of his naked wife and also not enjoyed a meal due his bare daughter. Henri enjoyed the rest of the meal, who wouldn’t as he was sitting next to his girlfriend who was wearing a watch and a green wristband that identified her as a warrior of the environment. What preyed on his mind however was the looming presence of his girlfriend’s mother, who now she was outed as a nudist, may just join her daughter at the drop of a hat. Or in her case the drop of a summer dress.
“I’ve explained the situation to Henri and he understands” Isla told her parents.
“And what dear” began Marion as her husband looked on with all the futility of peasant charged with teaching a horse to sing, “have you told Henri”
“That we are nudists”
“Ah” replied Marion as Brian contemplated stabbing himself with his fork to test if this was a nightmare.
“Better out than in” she sighed. This was not a sentiment shared by her husband.
Henri felt he should say something “I did rather suspect, what with Isla’s penchant for strolling around naked.” The look on Brain’s face told him that his was probably not his finest contribution to the dinner table conversation. He’d already put his foot well and truly in it so Henri thought he might as well carry on. “So are you guys members of a club”
“Oh no” replied Marion “we’re not that type of nudist”
Brian winced at the sound of the N word.
“We’re just a trifle casual with our dress at home” Isla explained.
“And some of us outside as well!” put in Brian
“That’s a legitimate protest, dad” protested his daughter. But that was not what Brian was referring to.
“So what’s you position on nudity Henri” asked Marion in an attempt to steer the conversation away form her night time excursions.
“I’m easy” replied Henri, hoping this was vague enough. It was, so Isla decided to clear away any lasting confusion.
“Don’t worry, I’ve converted him, he’s fine with nudity now”
‘Please don’t say it’ Brian prayed fervently to himself.
“Well, in that case” said Marion, “maybe later in the week we can have that casual dinner, what do you say Isla”
Isla blushed all the way from her face to her pink puffy nipples
Henri just stared at Marion in her floral summer dress topped off with her best necklace. Would she be wearing just the pearls this time tomorrow he wondered, or would she be the complete nudist. His money was on the pearls.
Twenty one
The following morning Henri woke alone. Isla had been as good as her word and had not suddenly begun to sleepwalk. He read a book and listened to the sound of the house, the doors opening and closing, muffled conversations, the humming of hair driers. Finally the goodbyes of first Brian, and then Marion as they left for work. Henri laid down his book and waited for Isla. After a full fantasy laden quarter of an hour where Henri imaged all sorts of wild sex, he began to think that she wasn’t going to come. Perhaps she was waiting for him. Mindful that this was not his house Henri dressed in an old shirt and a pair of frankly disgusting shorts, and as quietly as he could descended the stairs to Isla’s room. It was empty. That was an exaggeration, it was actually stuffed full of cuddly toys, there were clothes everywhere, the dressing table was invisible under a pile of make up, hair starighteners, hair drier. What it lacked was the architect of this mess: Henri decided to widen his search.
He finally tracked Isla down to the kitchen where she lounged in a comfortable chair with the morning paper covering her modesty. She looked critically at her lover, “Why are you wearing those clothes”
“I didn’t know if your parents would still be here.”
“Well they’re not so you can get them off” Henri dutifully did as he was told. Isla sniffed the air. “And you haven’t had a shower”
“Well, I was only wondering if you were up, now I know, I’ll….” He wasn’t allowed to go any further.
“Oh you’re here now, what do you want for breakfast?”
“You” replied Henri with a big grin.
“You can have me later” Isla gave him a sly look, “first something to eat, you need to keep your strength up!”
He smiled as he sat down on the chair and settled back to watch the show. His eyes wandered freely over her bare flesh. The curve of her calves, the tiny tufts of hair that poked through the back of her thighs. She caught him staring and smiled as she sat opposite him, her small breasts brushing the table.
“Did you enjoy last night?” she asked licking her lips suggestively.
“Yes, I was a bit worried, but your parents seemed very nice”
“That’s not what I meant” she said firmly. “Did you enjoy looking at me, in all my glory?”
“You know I love to watch your body” he replied watching her rounded buttocks as she bent over to put the dirty plates in the dishwasher, “did you enjoy it, being the only one naked?”
Isla smiled as she stood; hand on one hip, the bright light from the window sparking in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be the only one in the buff now……. if my mother got back early.”
Henri panicked, and then caught himself. It’s not often a young man could give a plausible explanation for being found naked in his host’s kitchen, with the host’s naked daughter. If Marion walked in now he could brazenly shake her hand with no more said, provided he remained seated. Should he stand there would be than his right hand outstretched.
Isla drifted around the kitchen like a dream, clearing the rest of the dishes. Then with a flourish she pulled away the white line table cloth that Henri had been using as a hide. Isla grinned mischievously, placed her finger in her mouth and started to suck on it. She looked over the edge of the table to observe the result.
“I think it’s playtime” she said with a grin.
Henri got up and grabbed hand, pulling her towards the door. Isla pulled back.
“No here” she told him pushing herself up onto the table, legs open. She shivered briefly as she lay back on the smooth polished wood.
One minute later following a series of groans and high pitched squeaks, both Henri and Isla got the message. The table wasn’t up for it. They however were, so with all their bits bouncing, and giggling manically in anticipation they raced each other up the stairs to the more receptive bed in the attic room.
Two hours later they were woken by the sound of the telephone. Isla dashed down to her bedroom. She returned in animated conversation.
“Yes of course I’ll sponsor you”
“What’s it for?”
To Henri’s ears the voice in Isla’s earphone sounded like an angry hornet.
“What do you have to do?”
Or perhaps a bee, flitting from flower, to summer flower.
“You’re going to do what? This I have to see”
The bee buzzed and buzzed for at least a minute.
“Is that all?” Isla replied condescendingly before ending the call with “One thirty, Marlborough Arms, see you there Alice”
“Who was that?” asked Henri
“My old school friend”
“I take it we’re going out”
“Indeed we are; mind if I use the shower here?”
“Be my guest, mind if I join you?”
They were nearly late for the old school reunion.
There was no naked dinner with Isla and her parents that evening. It was well past one in the morning when the two of them staggered drunkenly into the house. With theatrical whispers they staggered up the stairs. Isla bade Henri a cheery goodnight and closed her bedroom door from the outside. Barely surpassing her laughter she followed Henri as quietly as she could in her inebriated state up the stairs to the attic room.
It was a poor deception which only half worked. It fooled Brain for the simple reason he was fast asleep. Unfortunately for Isla her mother was wide awake and knew precisely what was going on. On the plus side Marion didn’t really care. When she was Isla’s age, she was already pregnant, so there was no point in trying to take the moral high ground. In fact Marion was pleased her daughter was otherwise engaged as she had a little excursion of her own planned. As the sounds of muffled passion leaked down the stairwell, Marion slipped as silently as Isla had thought she was from the bed and tiptoed downstairs and out into the silent midsummer night.
Henri woke at some ungodly hour with a pain in his bladder. He knew it was early as it was not yet dawn. He fumbled his way towards the bathroom and relieved himself. Still half drunk he fell back into the bed which complained at this rough handling.
“Ouch,” moaned Isla, “did you have to dig me in the ribs” she pushed him away and, completely disorientated he fell onto the floor, where he sat awkwardly rubbing his head. “Quiet will you, do you want to wake my parents?”
“You pushed me out” he whispered, his voice rich with injustice.
“I’d better be going” she whispered giving him a mohito flavoured kiss, “where are my clothes?”
“You took them off before we got here”
“Oh right,” she said, stopping suddenly. “Henri, come here a minute”
Ever eager, he was by her side, fondling her bare behind. “Stop that” she demanded as she pointed out of the window “look there”
“Where?”
“There, in the lane behind the fence”
“There’s someone out there” Henri gulped “I swear they haven’t got any clothes on”
The bare form flitted into the shadows and was gone. Moments later a flash of flesh crossed a patch of moonlit ground. It was only a glimpse, but that was enough to confirm to both of them that the naked form was female.
“Did you recognize her” asked Henri
“Too far away.”
But their minds were as one. They’d been told two days ago and they hadn’t forgotten.
“That kid was telling the truth”
“So Linda’s the naked angel” whispered Isla
“The what?”
Isla told Henri the story of the cook, his stroke, and his mythical rescuer.
“Wow” was all he could say
“The question now is what shall we do? Julie Lewis has been hunting this story since it broke, she’d love to know who it was. Should we tell her?”
Before Henri could reply the click of a bedroom door echoed through the house.
“Damn” whispered Isla who shot out of the room.
Henri listened intently but nothing further disturbed the quiet of the very early morning in Belvoir Avenue. He returned to the window, but the lane now was empty. Presently he went back to bed and fell asleep. As usual he dreamt of naked women.
Twenty two
The catch, when it came, was sudden and unexpected. Henri and Isla were enjoying a leisurely late morning drink on the sun drenched patio. Henri was as observant as a bird, attentive to every sound from the other side of the hedge where the mysterious naked neighbour, Linda, lived. He stared constantly at the thick privet, desperately trying to see through it. The slightest indication of a presence drove him to his feet, pacing the patio looking for the smallest sliver of bare flesh through the green. It was during one of these excursions that he was taken by surprise, like a harvest mouse caught in the open hearing the sudden screech of the tawny owl.
“It’s nice out isn’t it?” said Marion in a cheerful voice. As his trousers were still up in his bedroom Henri was not able to put it back in again. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. Fortunately neither Isla nor her mother seemed to notice let alone care.
“You’re back early, Mum”
Henri gulped, all he wanted was to be reunited with his clothes, but Marion was blocking the door, and now she seemed happy to chat. “I’m soaked with sweat,” she complained, that advertising agency had the air con off”
“Well that’s good” commented Isla at her most saintly.
“Well yes, if you’re dressed for it. The place was colder than an Alaskan dog kennel yesterday. I’m going to slip into something more casual” As she disappeared into the cool dark interior Henri came out of the blocks faster than an Olympic sprinter who had sat on a porcupine.
“Whoa, big boy, where do you think you’re going?” asked Isla.
“I’m going to get my clothes before your mother gets back.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t sit her in the buff talking to her, it’s bad enough she caught me in the nude”
“And where do you think she has gone?”
“She’s diplomatically got out of the way so I can go and get dressed.”
“Exactly the opposite” said Isla.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Then Henri understood what it meant “Oh, er, right”
And suddenly with the words “Well that’s better” Marion was there. Henri realised he had never seen anyone of that age naked before. He had once walked into the bathroom at home while his mother was in the shower, but had managed to beat a hasty retreat before he could catch a glimpse of flesh. Bizarrely he had been more worried than her. In fact she had found it quite amusing and teased him remorselessly in front of his sisters who also found it amusing until one of them had a thought. In Henri’s experience thought and his sisters’ minds occupied separate universes, but somehow an idea managed to bridge the gap and settle momentarily in Annie’s cerebrum.
“Oh my God,” she squealed, “what if it had been me, I’d have just died”
“No you wouldn’t Annie.” Replied their mother “Do you think you’ve got anything different under those clothes? We’re all the same, do you want to see mine and compare private bits?” She started to unbutton her blouse. This brought on a storm of protest from both his sisters while Henri looked at his shoes. Their mother stopped and smiled “There’s nothing wrong with nudity, as you’ll find out one day”
Well this was Henri’s day alright. Despite the teasing he had seen nothing of his mother’s body. The mere outline of her flesh though the translucent shower curtain had been enough to send him flying to his room. He would have the done the same now but for Isla. So here he sat, trapped with his naked girlfriend and her equally naked mother. He had expected Marion’s body to wrinkled, like an old dry leaf with only the memory of the summer that had gone. He was pleasantly surprised to find quite the opposite. Her skin was as smooth as her daughter’s although it had to be said there was somewhat more of Marion than Isla. What would his mother and sisters say now he wondered? This was more than an idle daydream, they knew he was dating one of the most famous nudes on the planet. He had told his mother just before the protests began, as he had expected countrywide television coverage to show him standing on the sidelines. His family had followed Isla’s progress with interest. To his twin sister Amelie she was a green heroine, someone to be looked up to , but perhaps not followed. His elder sister Annie though it all disgusting. His parents position was ambiguous, the only comment had come from his mother, who after seeing Isla parading stark naked around the Sapphire Shopping Mall told him “She looks nice dear”
What they would make of her in the flesh? He’d find out soon as in a weeks time they were going north to meet his folks. He just hoped that meeting Isla in the flesh didn’t mean just that. Could she keep her clothes on for a week? He fervently hoped she would, but deep down he knew there would an unveiling at some point. Then what would happen, would Amelie emulate her heroine, would their mother carry out the threat she had dangled before them all those years ago. One thing was certain, Annie would walk out.
“So how was work” Isla broke into his reverie
“Like I said hot” replied her mother “and its all you fault”
“How’s it my fault”
“Well there’s an advertising campaign for the “Air con con” at the mall and they’re making a bid”
“So”
“So they have switched the air con off to impress the clients”
“Oh well” said Isla haughtily from her vantage point on the moral high ground “they could always go naked, like our slogan says”
Saturday, 17 April 2010
eighteen
Nineteen
Henri knew that first impressions are important, and he was very aware that he wasn’t making one. They had taken the coastal route up to Nelson, stopping off at some friends overnight. By the time they got there they were both covered with the dust and the sweat of their journey. Isla’s parents were prepared to forgive this of their daughter but were not so understanding of the dishevelled boyfriend who stood for the first time in front of them. Henri was surprised to find he actually cared what they thought.
“Please call me Marion” Henri shook her hand, a middle aged suburban hausfrau right down to her pink toenails poking out of her unfashionable sandals. She wore a large summer dress which bore the pattern of inter crossing fern fronds.
Isla’s father shook his hand, a serious dark haired man with a pleasant face that wore a fixed smile that didn’t match his eyes. “Good to meet you at last, exactly how long have you two been going out together?”
“Dad, please” interjected Isla
‘Call me Mr Shaw’ thought Henri glumly.
Isla’s mother broke in to stop her overprotective father with the suggestion that everyone could do with a long cool drink. As they walked out into the garden with its potted blood red geraniums, Henri stared carefully at the hedge separating this garden from the one next door. He desperately searched for a chink through which he might glimpse that rarest of flowers, a naked neighbour. But Marion’s shrubbery shield was thorough and there was no chink in her armour. She waited until they were all comfortable before breaching the topic that had been hanging in the sultry air since Isla and Henri had arrived.
“Tell me about your protest”
Isla took a deep breath and began.
“Well, I have to say it was the most nerve wracking and exciting thing I have ever done at the same time. We went down to the mall and walked straight to the middle and … I was so nervous I can tell you, but there was no going back. Susie gave the signal and we whipped off our dresses. You could have heard a pin drop, then some woman gasped, so we started our chant. ‘Air con con, air con non, no clothes on before air con on’
Isla caught a glimpse of her mother’s face “It’s cheesy I know, but we couldn’t think of anything else. Anyway it was so good; being naked in the shopping mall you should try it some time”
Henri thought that this was an odd thing for Isla to say to her parents. He looked at them both, her mother serene and her father ready to gnaw his own head off.
“And then the security guards came, and Cat just stood in front of them hands on hips with her breasts jutting out and just dared them, ‘touch me and that’s indecent assault’ They backed off and decided it was more important to control the crowd. Most were really supportive, there was the odd pervert, and of course some young guys who had never seen a naked woman in the flesh before. You could tell by the way their tongue was hanging out.”
Henri also remembered the day well; there was utter chaos as the four young women strolled, with no shame, through the shopping mall. Some people tired not to notice, most sneaked glances while a few honest souls openly stared. Then there young men with their phones, snapping away sending them to their mates. “Come on darling, spread ‘em for me” That was unpleasant but they cheered up the security guards who could vent their pent up frustration by forcibly ejecting them. Susie was the magnet, but she didn’t care because the cause meant more to her than her exposed body. After all it was exposure they craved, as they strolled through the cool marble halls, breasts bouncing, firm buttocks quivering with each footstep. The bonanza they were waiting for, a TV crew, never came, the police beat them to it. Cat and Susie came to a sudden halt before two burly policemen, accompanied by two petite policewomen. By the look on their faces the policewomen would have no qualms with physically arresting some naked female students.
The policeman asked them why they were naked. He winced as Susie stood before him, hands on hips, legs apart and gave him the green broadside.
“If you don’t get dressed now” he told them all firmly, “you will be arrested”
They had discussed this and were all agreed the cause would serve little if they were taken into custody. So all four girls capitulated politely, took their dresses from the accompanying boys and allowed themselves to be escorted form the mall to the impatiently waiting press pack outside.
After half an hour of interviews they caught a bus to the other side of the city, and following a leisurely lunch in the park, went out and did it all over again.
“So you never got in trouble with the police” commented Brian offering grateful thanks to whatever gods may be.
“Henri nearly did” giggled Isla
“I thought it was a girls only protest?” asked her mother with a little concern.
“It was, but in the Freeglade Mall there was this pervy guy, he kept calling to me. ‘Jus rub your tits darling, go on spread them and ugh, some really disgusting stuff, so Henri grabbed his camera off him and smashed it into his face”
“Well done” said Biran, turning to Henri for the first time since he greeted him at the door, “did you do any damage”
“Not really, those cameras are quite robust” Henri replied with some regret.
“I wasn’t referring to the camera” Brain replied through gritted teeth
“Oh I see,” Henri grinned, “just a broken nose and a split lip that needed six stitches”
Brian smiled, “Care for another beer Henri”
“Oh yes please Mr Shaw”
“Call me Brian,”
Henri knew that first impressions are important, and he was very aware that he wasn’t making one. They had taken the coastal route up to Nelson, stopping off at some friends overnight. By the time they got there they were both covered with the dust and the sweat of their journey. Isla’s parents were prepared to forgive this of their daughter but were not so understanding of the dishevelled boyfriend who stood for the first time in front of them. Henri was surprised to find he actually cared what they thought.
“Please call me Marion” Henri shook her hand, a middle aged suburban hausfrau right down to her pink toenails poking out of her unfashionable sandals. She wore a large summer dress which bore the pattern of inter crossing fern fronds.
Isla’s father shook his hand, a serious dark haired man with a pleasant face that wore a fixed smile that didn’t match his eyes. “Good to meet you at last, exactly how long have you two been going out together?”
“Dad, please” interjected Isla
‘Call me Mr Shaw’ thought Henri glumly.
Isla’s mother broke in to stop her overprotective father with the suggestion that everyone could do with a long cool drink. As they walked out into the garden with its potted blood red geraniums, Henri stared carefully at the hedge separating this garden from the one next door. He desperately searched for a chink through which he might glimpse that rarest of flowers, a naked neighbour. But Marion’s shrubbery shield was thorough and there was no chink in her armour. She waited until they were all comfortable before breaching the topic that had been hanging in the sultry air since Isla and Henri had arrived.
“Tell me about your protest”
Isla took a deep breath and began.
“Well, I have to say it was the most nerve wracking and exciting thing I have ever done at the same time. We went down to the mall and walked straight to the middle and … I was so nervous I can tell you, but there was no going back. Susie gave the signal and we whipped off our dresses. You could have heard a pin drop, then some woman gasped, so we started our chant. ‘Air con con, air con non, no clothes on before air con on’
Isla caught a glimpse of her mother’s face “It’s cheesy I know, but we couldn’t think of anything else. Anyway it was so good; being naked in the shopping mall you should try it some time”
Henri thought that this was an odd thing for Isla to say to her parents. He looked at them both, her mother serene and her father ready to gnaw his own head off.
“And then the security guards came, and Cat just stood in front of them hands on hips with her breasts jutting out and just dared them, ‘touch me and that’s indecent assault’ They backed off and decided it was more important to control the crowd. Most were really supportive, there was the odd pervert, and of course some young guys who had never seen a naked woman in the flesh before. You could tell by the way their tongue was hanging out.”
Henri also remembered the day well; there was utter chaos as the four young women strolled, with no shame, through the shopping mall. Some people tired not to notice, most sneaked glances while a few honest souls openly stared. Then there young men with their phones, snapping away sending them to their mates. “Come on darling, spread ‘em for me” That was unpleasant but they cheered up the security guards who could vent their pent up frustration by forcibly ejecting them. Susie was the magnet, but she didn’t care because the cause meant more to her than her exposed body. After all it was exposure they craved, as they strolled through the cool marble halls, breasts bouncing, firm buttocks quivering with each footstep. The bonanza they were waiting for, a TV crew, never came, the police beat them to it. Cat and Susie came to a sudden halt before two burly policemen, accompanied by two petite policewomen. By the look on their faces the policewomen would have no qualms with physically arresting some naked female students.
The policeman asked them why they were naked. He winced as Susie stood before him, hands on hips, legs apart and gave him the green broadside.
“If you don’t get dressed now” he told them all firmly, “you will be arrested”
They had discussed this and were all agreed the cause would serve little if they were taken into custody. So all four girls capitulated politely, took their dresses from the accompanying boys and allowed themselves to be escorted form the mall to the impatiently waiting press pack outside.
After half an hour of interviews they caught a bus to the other side of the city, and following a leisurely lunch in the park, went out and did it all over again.
“So you never got in trouble with the police” commented Brian offering grateful thanks to whatever gods may be.
“Henri nearly did” giggled Isla
“I thought it was a girls only protest?” asked her mother with a little concern.
“It was, but in the Freeglade Mall there was this pervy guy, he kept calling to me. ‘Jus rub your tits darling, go on spread them and ugh, some really disgusting stuff, so Henri grabbed his camera off him and smashed it into his face”
“Well done” said Biran, turning to Henri for the first time since he greeted him at the door, “did you do any damage”
“Not really, those cameras are quite robust” Henri replied with some regret.
“I wasn’t referring to the camera” Brain replied through gritted teeth
“Oh I see,” Henri grinned, “just a broken nose and a split lip that needed six stitches”
Brian smiled, “Care for another beer Henri”
“Oh yes please Mr Shaw”
“Call me Brian,”
seventeen
Eighteen
A warm, golden summer’s afternoon. Belvoir Avenue shimmered in the hot air that rose in great swirling currents from the tarmac made soft by the unendurable heat. Henri took in the street, wide and tree lined and well kept, the epitome of middle class suburbia, from the well trimmed hedges to the blooming rose bushes which filled the air with a heady scent. Isla saw different things, this was her home, and she saw the changes. New windows in the Smythes, the council had cut down the old tree opposite the mad woman’s house, and whoever had moved into to her friend Charlotte’s old home had put up stone gates topped with lions that screamed of bad taste.
“Ouch” complained Isla as a ball hit here ankle. She turned to face two small boys
“Sorry” said the younger of the pair.
“I’ve seen you tits” the elder told her, “my dad’s got a picture of you with no clothes on”
‘I bet your mother doesn’t know that’ thought Isla.
“And did you like what you saw Arty?” she asked him. Arty screwed hid face into a scowl.
“Leave Isla alone” pleaded the other boy. Arty kicked him in the shin.
“Shut up Timmy, we shouldn’t even be talking to her; my mum says you’re a slut”
Henri, who had played Lancelot to Isla’s Guinevere with burly security guards and testosterone charged teenagers, was not prepared to let this go any further. Arty had been indulged by his parents and had assumed in his usual arrogance that nobody would dare touch him. He was suddenly surprised to find his feet were no longer on the ground. Slowly Henri pulled him up to his eye level. He then explained very carefully that he was Isla’s boyfriend and should he bother her again he would tell his mother exactly what Arty had said to her. And then he told the terrified boy he’d tell her that her son had a collection of photographs of naked women on their computer. Small bullies always recognise large bullies, and Arty realised he was in the presence of a master. He gave a small gulp followed by a gasp as Henri released him and let Isaac Newton finish the job. Picking himself off the hot soft tarmac he ran home, barely managing to hide his tears.
Despite the loss of his leader the small boy held his ground “My Mum says you’re a hero!” he told Isla
“Why thank you Timmy.” She smiled graciously “How have you been? Come and meet Henri, he won’t bite”
Henri bent down and solemnly shook the small boy’s hand “Pleased to meet you Tim, where do you live”
“We live next door to Isla and my Mum thinks she’s great”
“She supports the cause too, has she been writing to the council?”
“Dunno about that, but she walks around with no clothes on”
“What!”
Timmy looked desperately at Isla, “Really. I’ve seen her” he said trying to convince her, “when she thinks nobody is looking she walks around the house and round the garden, and” he dropped his voice to a whisper “even down the lane”
Henri was astonished, this looked so much like an ordinary street, the sort of place you found everywhere with normal people doing all the same normal boring things; shopping, visiting the cinema, watching the same detective stories. Cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch, the occasional curry for a taste of the exotic. Not the place where women ran around naked in public.
Isla, who knew Linda well, was wondering if her mother had got to her.
“You won’t tell anybody, will you?” pleaded Timmy. Isla promised him his secret was safe with her. “Thanks” he called as he ran up the path, the front door closed with a bang. Henri stared at the house with its flowered garden and well trimmed hedges and a line form a half forgotten song came drifted into his head.
‘There’s an ol’ piano, and they play it hot. Behind the green door. Wish they'd let me in. So I could find out what's behind the green door’
A warm, golden summer’s afternoon. Belvoir Avenue shimmered in the hot air that rose in great swirling currents from the tarmac made soft by the unendurable heat. Henri took in the street, wide and tree lined and well kept, the epitome of middle class suburbia, from the well trimmed hedges to the blooming rose bushes which filled the air with a heady scent. Isla saw different things, this was her home, and she saw the changes. New windows in the Smythes, the council had cut down the old tree opposite the mad woman’s house, and whoever had moved into to her friend Charlotte’s old home had put up stone gates topped with lions that screamed of bad taste.
“Ouch” complained Isla as a ball hit here ankle. She turned to face two small boys
“Sorry” said the younger of the pair.
“I’ve seen you tits” the elder told her, “my dad’s got a picture of you with no clothes on”
‘I bet your mother doesn’t know that’ thought Isla.
“And did you like what you saw Arty?” she asked him. Arty screwed hid face into a scowl.
“Leave Isla alone” pleaded the other boy. Arty kicked him in the shin.
“Shut up Timmy, we shouldn’t even be talking to her; my mum says you’re a slut”
Henri, who had played Lancelot to Isla’s Guinevere with burly security guards and testosterone charged teenagers, was not prepared to let this go any further. Arty had been indulged by his parents and had assumed in his usual arrogance that nobody would dare touch him. He was suddenly surprised to find his feet were no longer on the ground. Slowly Henri pulled him up to his eye level. He then explained very carefully that he was Isla’s boyfriend and should he bother her again he would tell his mother exactly what Arty had said to her. And then he told the terrified boy he’d tell her that her son had a collection of photographs of naked women on their computer. Small bullies always recognise large bullies, and Arty realised he was in the presence of a master. He gave a small gulp followed by a gasp as Henri released him and let Isaac Newton finish the job. Picking himself off the hot soft tarmac he ran home, barely managing to hide his tears.
Despite the loss of his leader the small boy held his ground “My Mum says you’re a hero!” he told Isla
“Why thank you Timmy.” She smiled graciously “How have you been? Come and meet Henri, he won’t bite”
Henri bent down and solemnly shook the small boy’s hand “Pleased to meet you Tim, where do you live”
“We live next door to Isla and my Mum thinks she’s great”
“She supports the cause too, has she been writing to the council?”
“Dunno about that, but she walks around with no clothes on”
“What!”
Timmy looked desperately at Isla, “Really. I’ve seen her” he said trying to convince her, “when she thinks nobody is looking she walks around the house and round the garden, and” he dropped his voice to a whisper “even down the lane”
Henri was astonished, this looked so much like an ordinary street, the sort of place you found everywhere with normal people doing all the same normal boring things; shopping, visiting the cinema, watching the same detective stories. Cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch, the occasional curry for a taste of the exotic. Not the place where women ran around naked in public.
Isla, who knew Linda well, was wondering if her mother had got to her.
“You won’t tell anybody, will you?” pleaded Timmy. Isla promised him his secret was safe with her. “Thanks” he called as he ran up the path, the front door closed with a bang. Henri stared at the house with its flowered garden and well trimmed hedges and a line form a half forgotten song came drifted into his head.
‘There’s an ol’ piano, and they play it hot. Behind the green door. Wish they'd let me in. So I could find out what's behind the green door’
sixteen
Seventeen
Isla’s protests were short lived. Soon every security guard in the country had her photograph in his pocket along with strict instructions not to let her in. But that couldn’t stop the campaign against air conditioning; it spread like a wildfire across a parched prairie, as others took up the cause and ran naked with it. The shops and malls responded quickly by robustly caving into the protestors. It wasn’t much of a contest as it was in the complexes owners’ interests to turn off their expensive air conditioning. This allowed them to save large amounts of money whilst giving the outward appearance of caring for the environment. They almost fell over each other in the rush to turn off the fans. The only cloud in this clear blue sky was the faint possibility that some people out there would take the slogan; I’d rather have nothing on than have air con on, literally and turn up in the nude. They crossed their fingers, knocked on wood and hoped for rain.
Flushed with success the University of Canterbury Greensoc had one last, all naked, picnic in the summer countryside before scattering for the long summer break. Cat and Julie went hiking while Susie continued to promote the cause. She was everything that the media could have asked for, articulate, intelligent, persuasive and happy to take her clothes off. The camera loved her, clothed and unclothed. She steamed off into the limelight leaving Isla drifting miserably in the quiet backwaters.
“I think I’ll go back and see my folks” she announced to Henri as they sat quietly in the corner of a crowded beer garden. She paused and hesitated before continuing. “You wouldn’t like to come with me would you?”
To Isla’s surprise, and Henri’s utter astonishment he agreed.
“Isla’s coming home tomorrow” Marion announced to her husband, “and she’s bringing her boyfriend” That got Brian’s attention. They had both speculated about their daughter’s love life for some time; and, despite her robust denials, had long suspected Henri’s existence. “Get the loft room ready, Marion” was Brian’s reply. He didn’t care what they got up to at University, but it wasn’t happening under his roof.
“Shall I prime the tank trap dear?” enquired Marion
“Don’t be facetious” Brian continued at his most pompous, “and you can keep your clothes on for the duration of their stay”
“Aye, aye, capn” replied his naked wife giving him a mock salute. Brian watched her bare buttocks quiver as she strode out of the room to prepare the nest for the return of their wandering chick.
Marion sighed to herself as she cleaned the old attic bedroom. This time tomorrow she would be locked up in her prison clothes. She knew deep down that Brian was right, Isla’s boyfriend was an unknown quantity and it was probably for the best that his first memory of his future mother-in-law wasn’t of her naked. She interrupted her train of thought. What was she thinking of, she hadn’t even met the boy, and here she was marrying Isla off.
Brian was thinking quite the opposite, this boy was just a passing fancy, Isla would soon come to her senses and drop him for a nice quiet, sensible, medical student. He rather wished that Isla wasn’t bringing him at all. The only good thing he could think about Henri’s visit would be it would stop Marion pestering him to take his clothes off. The thought of nudity set his mind going again, worrying away, and gnawing away at the thought of his daughter’s protests and, worse still, that one mad night in the wood. Again and again he went over it in his mind, could they have been seen? It was a question he would never know the answer to, but that didn’t stop him tormenting himself.
Conversely Marion was worrying about having to wear clothes. She was smoothing the sheets on the bed as she pondered her predicament. Isla and the boyfriend wouldn’t be there all the time, so she could go nude when they were out, just keep something handy if they came back unexpectedly; and she could rely on Isla to call ahead just to give the time to dress. It would be like old times she thought warmly as she stared down at the garden from the dormer in the roof. All those months, she had sat naked in the house, listening for Brian’s return and scurrying to get dressed at the first throaty sound of the car’s engine in the drive. Unconsciously she scanned the shrubbery mapping out the hidden path to the gate. She suddenly realised what she had been doing and smiled, perhaps she could take a walk. ‘Oh yes’ she thought brightening up, her pulse quickening at the thought of the danger involved. She might even arrange to meet Linda in the lane. She warmed at the thrill of it, roaming naked, with the unsettling danger of being caught. Cheered tremendously by these thoughts she returned to the lounge where Brian was watching television.
“You’re still dressed” she scolded, “This will be our last chance for a few days to spend time together naked”
“It’s too cold” he complained
“Nonsense it’s the middle of summer, it’s far too hot for clothes. I fancy I don’t know how I will get through tomorrow…….”
Brian recognised a threat when he heard one; although he was beginning to feel there was not as much substance behind them as he once feared. As far as he was aware the only people who had seen Marion naked were Brian himself, their daughter and their neighbour Linda. The stricken man suddenly came to mind. This burst Brain’s pretty party balloon. Anyone who was prepared to walk the streets stark naked and not pass by on the other side when they meet a helpless soul would have no qualms about baring all in front of their daughter’s boyfriend. Suddenly sober, Brian quickly stood up and stripped.
Marion smiled as she contemplated the mound of bare flesh on the settee that was the spoils of her victory.
“I do think it’s a little mean putting Henri away in the attic.”
“I know I can’t control what they do in university Marion, but while they are under my roof there will be no shenanigans”
“You won’t be here al the time”
Marion paused while Brian ruminated on this,
“People do have sex in the day you know”
Brian was at his most haughty “I do hope Isla and her boyfriend will not abuse our hospitality”
“They could do it outside”
Brian shot a look at Marion, but she was staring out of the window, idly playing with he left nipple. He watched as she gave it a little squeeze. “There’s a place in the wood” she continued as she rolled her hand over her breast. Brian felt an unwanted stirring between his legs
“Do you remember the place” Marion’s voice was low and husky now. He certainly did, and so did his penis. “There’s nothing to stop them going there, after all it is so arousing, sex al fresco, don’t you think”
Brian didn’t have to think, his libido was doing all that for him. In desperation he crossed his legs and tried to stare at the picture of a stormy seashore hanging above the stone mantelpiece. It was no use, as if by magnetism his eyes were drawn towards his wife’s naked body and her left hand which was slowly, idly, and apparently unconsciously caressing her right breast. Suddenly, like a seal coming up for air, his perfidious penis burst free and poked its head out from between his legs,. Marion let go of her nipple and smiled, “There you are, I knew you remembered” Brain wasn’t sure she was talking to him.
Isla’s protests were short lived. Soon every security guard in the country had her photograph in his pocket along with strict instructions not to let her in. But that couldn’t stop the campaign against air conditioning; it spread like a wildfire across a parched prairie, as others took up the cause and ran naked with it. The shops and malls responded quickly by robustly caving into the protestors. It wasn’t much of a contest as it was in the complexes owners’ interests to turn off their expensive air conditioning. This allowed them to save large amounts of money whilst giving the outward appearance of caring for the environment. They almost fell over each other in the rush to turn off the fans. The only cloud in this clear blue sky was the faint possibility that some people out there would take the slogan; I’d rather have nothing on than have air con on, literally and turn up in the nude. They crossed their fingers, knocked on wood and hoped for rain.
Flushed with success the University of Canterbury Greensoc had one last, all naked, picnic in the summer countryside before scattering for the long summer break. Cat and Julie went hiking while Susie continued to promote the cause. She was everything that the media could have asked for, articulate, intelligent, persuasive and happy to take her clothes off. The camera loved her, clothed and unclothed. She steamed off into the limelight leaving Isla drifting miserably in the quiet backwaters.
“I think I’ll go back and see my folks” she announced to Henri as they sat quietly in the corner of a crowded beer garden. She paused and hesitated before continuing. “You wouldn’t like to come with me would you?”
To Isla’s surprise, and Henri’s utter astonishment he agreed.
“Isla’s coming home tomorrow” Marion announced to her husband, “and she’s bringing her boyfriend” That got Brian’s attention. They had both speculated about their daughter’s love life for some time; and, despite her robust denials, had long suspected Henri’s existence. “Get the loft room ready, Marion” was Brian’s reply. He didn’t care what they got up to at University, but it wasn’t happening under his roof.
“Shall I prime the tank trap dear?” enquired Marion
“Don’t be facetious” Brian continued at his most pompous, “and you can keep your clothes on for the duration of their stay”
“Aye, aye, capn” replied his naked wife giving him a mock salute. Brian watched her bare buttocks quiver as she strode out of the room to prepare the nest for the return of their wandering chick.
Marion sighed to herself as she cleaned the old attic bedroom. This time tomorrow she would be locked up in her prison clothes. She knew deep down that Brian was right, Isla’s boyfriend was an unknown quantity and it was probably for the best that his first memory of his future mother-in-law wasn’t of her naked. She interrupted her train of thought. What was she thinking of, she hadn’t even met the boy, and here she was marrying Isla off.
Brian was thinking quite the opposite, this boy was just a passing fancy, Isla would soon come to her senses and drop him for a nice quiet, sensible, medical student. He rather wished that Isla wasn’t bringing him at all. The only good thing he could think about Henri’s visit would be it would stop Marion pestering him to take his clothes off. The thought of nudity set his mind going again, worrying away, and gnawing away at the thought of his daughter’s protests and, worse still, that one mad night in the wood. Again and again he went over it in his mind, could they have been seen? It was a question he would never know the answer to, but that didn’t stop him tormenting himself.
Conversely Marion was worrying about having to wear clothes. She was smoothing the sheets on the bed as she pondered her predicament. Isla and the boyfriend wouldn’t be there all the time, so she could go nude when they were out, just keep something handy if they came back unexpectedly; and she could rely on Isla to call ahead just to give the time to dress. It would be like old times she thought warmly as she stared down at the garden from the dormer in the roof. All those months, she had sat naked in the house, listening for Brian’s return and scurrying to get dressed at the first throaty sound of the car’s engine in the drive. Unconsciously she scanned the shrubbery mapping out the hidden path to the gate. She suddenly realised what she had been doing and smiled, perhaps she could take a walk. ‘Oh yes’ she thought brightening up, her pulse quickening at the thought of the danger involved. She might even arrange to meet Linda in the lane. She warmed at the thrill of it, roaming naked, with the unsettling danger of being caught. Cheered tremendously by these thoughts she returned to the lounge where Brian was watching television.
“You’re still dressed” she scolded, “This will be our last chance for a few days to spend time together naked”
“It’s too cold” he complained
“Nonsense it’s the middle of summer, it’s far too hot for clothes. I fancy I don’t know how I will get through tomorrow…….”
Brian recognised a threat when he heard one; although he was beginning to feel there was not as much substance behind them as he once feared. As far as he was aware the only people who had seen Marion naked were Brian himself, their daughter and their neighbour Linda. The stricken man suddenly came to mind. This burst Brain’s pretty party balloon. Anyone who was prepared to walk the streets stark naked and not pass by on the other side when they meet a helpless soul would have no qualms about baring all in front of their daughter’s boyfriend. Suddenly sober, Brian quickly stood up and stripped.
Marion smiled as she contemplated the mound of bare flesh on the settee that was the spoils of her victory.
“I do think it’s a little mean putting Henri away in the attic.”
“I know I can’t control what they do in university Marion, but while they are under my roof there will be no shenanigans”
“You won’t be here al the time”
Marion paused while Brian ruminated on this,
“People do have sex in the day you know”
Brian was at his most haughty “I do hope Isla and her boyfriend will not abuse our hospitality”
“They could do it outside”
Brian shot a look at Marion, but she was staring out of the window, idly playing with he left nipple. He watched as she gave it a little squeeze. “There’s a place in the wood” she continued as she rolled her hand over her breast. Brian felt an unwanted stirring between his legs
“Do you remember the place” Marion’s voice was low and husky now. He certainly did, and so did his penis. “There’s nothing to stop them going there, after all it is so arousing, sex al fresco, don’t you think”
Brian didn’t have to think, his libido was doing all that for him. In desperation he crossed his legs and tried to stare at the picture of a stormy seashore hanging above the stone mantelpiece. It was no use, as if by magnetism his eyes were drawn towards his wife’s naked body and her left hand which was slowly, idly, and apparently unconsciously caressing her right breast. Suddenly, like a seal coming up for air, his perfidious penis burst free and poked its head out from between his legs,. Marion let go of her nipple and smiled, “There you are, I knew you remembered” Brain wasn’t sure she was talking to him.
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Fifteen
“Tally ho!”
Like a hunter who had just caught sight of a fox John announced the arrival of Isla’s bare body to a box marked public property.
“Whoo hoo, four naked fillies in a shopping mall. Would you look at that!”
He turned his screen around to show Brian. He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, but no. There she was in all her glory proudly holding a placard aloft. ‘Air con con’ was all the combined talent of the University of Canterbury was able to come up with, but it didn’t matter as nobody was looking at Isla’s slogan.
Brian had steeled himself for this moment, and instead of trying to bluff it out, went uncharacteristically onto the attack.
“I’ve seen it before” he told the enthusiastic John and the disapproving Jan. John, who was in full flow, screeched to halt.
“What?”
“She’s my daughter”
John stared closely at the screen. Jan, who up until now had been conveying silent messages of utter disgust at John’s lasciviousness, came to look too.
“My God,” said John, “it is Isla”
Jan was all sympathy, “Oh, I am so sorry Brian, how embarrassing”
Brian shrugged, “We tried to talk her out of it but she is completely committed to the cause”
“The last thing we need is a campaign against air conditioning” complained John, “it’s boiling in here”
“Well perhaps you should follow Brain’s daughter’s example” Jan told him.
“I will if you will”
Brian scrutinised John’s face very carefully. John had been trying to get inside Jan’s pants for months and Brian had a feeling he wasn’t getting anywhere near. The way he held Jan’s eyes for just a trifle longer than he would had he been familiar with his co workers’ body confirmed Brian’s suspicions.
Jan uttered the very words that were passing through Brain’s mind.
“In your dreams, mate”
Further discussion was curtailed by Marion’s phone call. Isla was on the national news at one. Not quite sure he was doing the right thing given John’s presence in the room Brian found the station’s webstream and the three of them gathered around the computer to watch his daughter and her friends parade naked through the Rockendon shopping mall.
It was a slow news day and the steaming weather was the top story. As the naked protest was related Brian only had to wait a few minutes before pictures of Isla, accompanied by a very skinny dark haired girl, and a large rotund blonde filled the screen. The camera quickly left them and zoomed in on the final member of the group.
“Will you look at that” John muttered under his breath. Even Jan gasped at the sight of Susie. Brian was ecstatic as he watched the gorgeous young woman lecturing a slavering reporter on the evils of air conditioning. He knew instantly that Isla was going to be sidelined completely. Susie was rattling off statistics faster than a demented politician defending the latest crime figures. No one was listening, there was only one figure of interest and that was the unwrapped body of Susan Blackwell. Tomorrow’s headlines had just written themselves, PHEW, WHAT A SCORCHER
“Oh my” said Linda. She and Marion were sitting naked in her kitchen watching the lunchtime news of television. “I wish I had her body” But Marion was not thinking about Susie’s perfection. Her mind was working in tandem with Brian’s, Isla was going to escape with much less exposure than she had feared. Meanwhile Linda continued to prattle on.
“She has a point, Marion, this heat so much more bearable without clothes. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all walk around in the nude? Have you ever thought what it would be like to walk down the street naked? You should try it sometime”
Marion suddenly caught up with what her friend was saying.
“What do you mean Linda?” she asked carefully.
Linda looked at her with a hint of embarrassment.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Marion nodded her head slowly, dreading what was coming next. “Well I’ve, sort of well.” The room felt utterly silent despite the constant commentary from the television, “I don’t want you to think any the less of me.”
“I won’t Linda” Marion told her quietly.
“Well I’ve taken to going for midnight walks, au natural, so to speak” she blurted, looking desperately to Marion for absolution. Mistaking her friend’s look of sheer terror for surprise, Linda began to apologise, “I’m so sorry. I’ve shocked you”
“Er no well, I have to admit this is all a bit sudden”
Linda breathed easily, “So my secret’s safe with you”
“Oh yes, after all, we’re both in the same club, if you see what I mean” said Marion running her eyes down Linda’s naked body to emphasise her point.
“You could say the same nudist club” replied Linda laughing heartily at her own joke.
Rule one, thought Marion, is to never ask a question you don’t know the answer to. “Were you the naked angel, Linda?”
“Oh no, but the story was my inspiration, it set me thinking, what would it be like to walk down the lane in the buff?”
“And what is it like?” asked Marion who was better placed to know.
“Absolutely wonderful, you should try it sometime, in fact I was out there last night”
Marion nearly fell off her chair. “Oh dear I am shocking you aren’t I?” said Linda mistaking her confidant’s utter panic for surprise. “It was brilliant; I went all the way to the edge of the wood.” Marion’s eyes were wide, she held her breath, as her friend continued blithely, “I was going in but I was put off by the animal noises”
Marion was desperately thinking how she should respond to this. She was supposed to be a respectable housewife, who, after being led astray by her friend, was now sitting stark naked in a strange kitchen. Linda, whom she had previously considered to be an upstanding member of the community, was now admitting she walked nude through the neighbourhood. Should she be expressing outrage, or disgust, or perhaps admiration for Linda’s daring do? In the event all that emerged from Marion’s lips was a small squeak. With all the relief of a sinner finally unburdening herself, Linda continued blithely on.
“I tell you I think there must be some wild boar living in there, what with the grunts and the squealing and panting. It made me think twice I can tell you.”
”Oh yes, I can imagine” agreed Marion, “so you came straight back?”
“Absolutely, I didn’t want to meet a wild animal, what if it had charged me? How would I explain that, being out and about in the all together”
“Quite” agreed Marion, and continued quickly “Well, I think I have to get back now as I’ve some work to be getting on with.” She picked up her shirt and pulled it over her head, before breezily telling Linda, not to bother to get dressed as she could see herself out.
“You won’t tell anyone will you?” Linda pleaded again.
“Oh no, my lips are sealed” replied Marion who had absolutely no intention of telling Brian his mating calls had been heard by their equally naked neighbour who had mistaken them both for a pair of pigs.
“Stay naked” called Linda hopefully as Marion left.
“I’ll think about it” she replied.
Sixteen
As soon as she closed her own front door behind her Marion peeled off her shirt and went for a sit down. After Linda’s revelations she felt she needed one. Once the shock of her close call had worn off Marion began to realise that Linda’s admission to night time nude jaunts was not the problem she had thought it was going to be. She could still continue her rambling and if she did bump into her friend in then she could claim that Linda had been her inspiration. Cheered by this thought Marion smiled and was about to start some work when the doorbell rang. Once more donning her emergency long shirt Marion opened the front door.
Every year the European cycle season stages a classic race called the Paris–Roubaix. It is known as The Hell of the North as it pitches the riders from smooth metalled surfaces onto rough cobbled tracks that jar both body and machine. Marion’s day seemed to be following just such a course, for standing on her front porch was the last person Marion wanted to see, ever.
“Good afternoon, Mrs Shaw”
She was a good head smaller than Marion, and casually dressed in a brief summer dress. She held out a pass with her photograph and the word PRESS in large red letters. Marion didn’t need to read the name, she recognised Julie Lewis by her curls. “My name is Julie Lewis; I’m a reporter for the Nelson Mercury”
Marion said nothing, she just stared, waiting for, and dreading the next line. When it came it was a pleasant surprise, “I wonder if you had any comment on your daughter’s protest in the mall down in Christchurch this morning”
“Well naturally I have to give her my support and I am very proud of her conviction and dedication for such an important cause. I’m sure we all share her concern for the environment, and if Isla’s actions have some effect then it will have all been worthwhile”
“So you are happy that pictures of your daughter’s naked body are in the public domain?”
“Well I do wish she had chosen a different way of getting her point across.”
“Did she inform you she would be making a nude protest?”
”Oh yes we knew.”
”What does her father think, is Mr Shaw at home?”
“No he is at work, but he also gives Isla his support”
“I have spoken to your husband before, Mrs Shaw, on the reports of the naked angel. Was that your daughter too?”
“Absolutely not” replied the true angel, “Isla was away at university at the time. Has that cook woken up yet?”
Marion winced, she asked that too quickly. Fortunately the reporter didn’t pick up on it.
“Yes, but he remembers nothing of the evening”
Relief flooded Marion’s body like summer returning to a frozen wasteland.
“Or so he says” Julie Lewis paused, and smiled before continuing in a more conciliatory manner. “Look, Mrs Shaw, I think we can help each other here”
Oh, how” she snapped. It was Julie’s turn to wince. Marion gave her a small smile; she was still on tenterhooks and had not meant to be so sharp.
“Well, you are going to have journalists from the national papers contacting you. I could head them off for you. If they knew we had an exclusive, they will use the Mercury as a feed.”
“I see” said Marion thoughtfully.
Encouraged by the slight thaw she continued “what I would like is an inside story of your daughter’s protest, a local angle for the paper”
“Well I don’t know, that would be up to Isla”
“Would you put it to her, after all she is doing this for the publicity, and all I’m offering is more.”
Marion thought about this, and although she viewed Julie Lewis as an enemy hunting her down, it’s usually a good ploy to keep the enemy where you can see them.
“Come in” she said, “let me contact my daughter”
Marion led Julie through the darkened hall into the kitchen. She gestured to a high chair next to the breakfast bar. Mindful of the fact she was not wearing any underwear, Marion remained standing as she enquired if her guest would like a drink.
“Oh, yes please, its baking today, your daughter picked the right time for her protest, I almost feel like joining her” She laughed nervously as Marion shot her a piercing look. There would be nothing she would like better than to see her persecutor laid bare
Isla was full of herself and quite prepared to talk to the journalist. Mainly because this was actually her first interview, all the other journalists and TV crews had swarmed like bees around the honey pot that was Susie. Marion listened in as Julie talked to her daughter.
“I’d like to publish a form of a diary”
“No just yours, you are the local girl”
“No, photographs will be head and shoulders only, but we might stretch our readers’ sensitivities to a bare bum or two.”
“If I could join you on a protest; that would be great”
She laughed nervously. “No, I don’t think I’m up to that”
“Committee meeting, well I suppose so, if they are closed, and everyone else is”
Good girl thought Marion, get her kit off.
“Tomorrow, Cathedral Square, at ten, I’ll be there”
Later as they sat in twilight’s last hot and sweaty gleaming on their patio, Brain and Marion discussed the day. They agreed it had gone better than it could have. Brian had received much sympathy at work, but to enable them to empathise with Brian’s despair everyone had to have a good look at Isla’s bare body. Julie Lewis had been good to her word; no other journalists had bothered them. After much thought, Marion had given Brian a heavily abridged account of Linda’s nudity. She kept it to the sunbathing only. Given the surprise on his face Marion could only imagine the effect the news of her wandering the neighbourhood would have on him. If Brian had found out Linda was out and about at the same time as they were last night Marion would have been called upon to make her second au natural emergency call.
“You mustn’t tell anyone about Linda” she admonished him earnestly as she eyed his big grin, “I promised her I wouldn’t tell you.” Marion paused for effect “After all, how would you like it if I told her about you?”
It took five minutes and a glass of water to cure Brian’s coughing fit.
Like a hunter who had just caught sight of a fox John announced the arrival of Isla’s bare body to a box marked public property.
“Whoo hoo, four naked fillies in a shopping mall. Would you look at that!”
He turned his screen around to show Brian. He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, but no. There she was in all her glory proudly holding a placard aloft. ‘Air con con’ was all the combined talent of the University of Canterbury was able to come up with, but it didn’t matter as nobody was looking at Isla’s slogan.
Brian had steeled himself for this moment, and instead of trying to bluff it out, went uncharacteristically onto the attack.
“I’ve seen it before” he told the enthusiastic John and the disapproving Jan. John, who was in full flow, screeched to halt.
“What?”
“She’s my daughter”
John stared closely at the screen. Jan, who up until now had been conveying silent messages of utter disgust at John’s lasciviousness, came to look too.
“My God,” said John, “it is Isla”
Jan was all sympathy, “Oh, I am so sorry Brian, how embarrassing”
Brian shrugged, “We tried to talk her out of it but she is completely committed to the cause”
“The last thing we need is a campaign against air conditioning” complained John, “it’s boiling in here”
“Well perhaps you should follow Brain’s daughter’s example” Jan told him.
“I will if you will”
Brian scrutinised John’s face very carefully. John had been trying to get inside Jan’s pants for months and Brian had a feeling he wasn’t getting anywhere near. The way he held Jan’s eyes for just a trifle longer than he would had he been familiar with his co workers’ body confirmed Brian’s suspicions.
Jan uttered the very words that were passing through Brain’s mind.
“In your dreams, mate”
Further discussion was curtailed by Marion’s phone call. Isla was on the national news at one. Not quite sure he was doing the right thing given John’s presence in the room Brian found the station’s webstream and the three of them gathered around the computer to watch his daughter and her friends parade naked through the Rockendon shopping mall.
It was a slow news day and the steaming weather was the top story. As the naked protest was related Brian only had to wait a few minutes before pictures of Isla, accompanied by a very skinny dark haired girl, and a large rotund blonde filled the screen. The camera quickly left them and zoomed in on the final member of the group.
“Will you look at that” John muttered under his breath. Even Jan gasped at the sight of Susie. Brian was ecstatic as he watched the gorgeous young woman lecturing a slavering reporter on the evils of air conditioning. He knew instantly that Isla was going to be sidelined completely. Susie was rattling off statistics faster than a demented politician defending the latest crime figures. No one was listening, there was only one figure of interest and that was the unwrapped body of Susan Blackwell. Tomorrow’s headlines had just written themselves, PHEW, WHAT A SCORCHER
“Oh my” said Linda. She and Marion were sitting naked in her kitchen watching the lunchtime news of television. “I wish I had her body” But Marion was not thinking about Susie’s perfection. Her mind was working in tandem with Brian’s, Isla was going to escape with much less exposure than she had feared. Meanwhile Linda continued to prattle on.
“She has a point, Marion, this heat so much more bearable without clothes. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all walk around in the nude? Have you ever thought what it would be like to walk down the street naked? You should try it sometime”
Marion suddenly caught up with what her friend was saying.
“What do you mean Linda?” she asked carefully.
Linda looked at her with a hint of embarrassment.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Marion nodded her head slowly, dreading what was coming next. “Well I’ve, sort of well.” The room felt utterly silent despite the constant commentary from the television, “I don’t want you to think any the less of me.”
“I won’t Linda” Marion told her quietly.
“Well I’ve taken to going for midnight walks, au natural, so to speak” she blurted, looking desperately to Marion for absolution. Mistaking her friend’s look of sheer terror for surprise, Linda began to apologise, “I’m so sorry. I’ve shocked you”
“Er no well, I have to admit this is all a bit sudden”
Linda breathed easily, “So my secret’s safe with you”
“Oh yes, after all, we’re both in the same club, if you see what I mean” said Marion running her eyes down Linda’s naked body to emphasise her point.
“You could say the same nudist club” replied Linda laughing heartily at her own joke.
Rule one, thought Marion, is to never ask a question you don’t know the answer to. “Were you the naked angel, Linda?”
“Oh no, but the story was my inspiration, it set me thinking, what would it be like to walk down the lane in the buff?”
“And what is it like?” asked Marion who was better placed to know.
“Absolutely wonderful, you should try it sometime, in fact I was out there last night”
Marion nearly fell off her chair. “Oh dear I am shocking you aren’t I?” said Linda mistaking her confidant’s utter panic for surprise. “It was brilliant; I went all the way to the edge of the wood.” Marion’s eyes were wide, she held her breath, as her friend continued blithely, “I was going in but I was put off by the animal noises”
Marion was desperately thinking how she should respond to this. She was supposed to be a respectable housewife, who, after being led astray by her friend, was now sitting stark naked in a strange kitchen. Linda, whom she had previously considered to be an upstanding member of the community, was now admitting she walked nude through the neighbourhood. Should she be expressing outrage, or disgust, or perhaps admiration for Linda’s daring do? In the event all that emerged from Marion’s lips was a small squeak. With all the relief of a sinner finally unburdening herself, Linda continued blithely on.
“I tell you I think there must be some wild boar living in there, what with the grunts and the squealing and panting. It made me think twice I can tell you.”
”Oh yes, I can imagine” agreed Marion, “so you came straight back?”
“Absolutely, I didn’t want to meet a wild animal, what if it had charged me? How would I explain that, being out and about in the all together”
“Quite” agreed Marion, and continued quickly “Well, I think I have to get back now as I’ve some work to be getting on with.” She picked up her shirt and pulled it over her head, before breezily telling Linda, not to bother to get dressed as she could see herself out.
“You won’t tell anyone will you?” Linda pleaded again.
“Oh no, my lips are sealed” replied Marion who had absolutely no intention of telling Brian his mating calls had been heard by their equally naked neighbour who had mistaken them both for a pair of pigs.
“Stay naked” called Linda hopefully as Marion left.
“I’ll think about it” she replied.
Sixteen
As soon as she closed her own front door behind her Marion peeled off her shirt and went for a sit down. After Linda’s revelations she felt she needed one. Once the shock of her close call had worn off Marion began to realise that Linda’s admission to night time nude jaunts was not the problem she had thought it was going to be. She could still continue her rambling and if she did bump into her friend in then she could claim that Linda had been her inspiration. Cheered by this thought Marion smiled and was about to start some work when the doorbell rang. Once more donning her emergency long shirt Marion opened the front door.
Every year the European cycle season stages a classic race called the Paris–Roubaix. It is known as The Hell of the North as it pitches the riders from smooth metalled surfaces onto rough cobbled tracks that jar both body and machine. Marion’s day seemed to be following just such a course, for standing on her front porch was the last person Marion wanted to see, ever.
“Good afternoon, Mrs Shaw”
She was a good head smaller than Marion, and casually dressed in a brief summer dress. She held out a pass with her photograph and the word PRESS in large red letters. Marion didn’t need to read the name, she recognised Julie Lewis by her curls. “My name is Julie Lewis; I’m a reporter for the Nelson Mercury”
Marion said nothing, she just stared, waiting for, and dreading the next line. When it came it was a pleasant surprise, “I wonder if you had any comment on your daughter’s protest in the mall down in Christchurch this morning”
“Well naturally I have to give her my support and I am very proud of her conviction and dedication for such an important cause. I’m sure we all share her concern for the environment, and if Isla’s actions have some effect then it will have all been worthwhile”
“So you are happy that pictures of your daughter’s naked body are in the public domain?”
“Well I do wish she had chosen a different way of getting her point across.”
“Did she inform you she would be making a nude protest?”
”Oh yes we knew.”
”What does her father think, is Mr Shaw at home?”
“No he is at work, but he also gives Isla his support”
“I have spoken to your husband before, Mrs Shaw, on the reports of the naked angel. Was that your daughter too?”
“Absolutely not” replied the true angel, “Isla was away at university at the time. Has that cook woken up yet?”
Marion winced, she asked that too quickly. Fortunately the reporter didn’t pick up on it.
“Yes, but he remembers nothing of the evening”
Relief flooded Marion’s body like summer returning to a frozen wasteland.
“Or so he says” Julie Lewis paused, and smiled before continuing in a more conciliatory manner. “Look, Mrs Shaw, I think we can help each other here”
Oh, how” she snapped. It was Julie’s turn to wince. Marion gave her a small smile; she was still on tenterhooks and had not meant to be so sharp.
“Well, you are going to have journalists from the national papers contacting you. I could head them off for you. If they knew we had an exclusive, they will use the Mercury as a feed.”
“I see” said Marion thoughtfully.
Encouraged by the slight thaw she continued “what I would like is an inside story of your daughter’s protest, a local angle for the paper”
“Well I don’t know, that would be up to Isla”
“Would you put it to her, after all she is doing this for the publicity, and all I’m offering is more.”
Marion thought about this, and although she viewed Julie Lewis as an enemy hunting her down, it’s usually a good ploy to keep the enemy where you can see them.
“Come in” she said, “let me contact my daughter”
Marion led Julie through the darkened hall into the kitchen. She gestured to a high chair next to the breakfast bar. Mindful of the fact she was not wearing any underwear, Marion remained standing as she enquired if her guest would like a drink.
“Oh, yes please, its baking today, your daughter picked the right time for her protest, I almost feel like joining her” She laughed nervously as Marion shot her a piercing look. There would be nothing she would like better than to see her persecutor laid bare
Isla was full of herself and quite prepared to talk to the journalist. Mainly because this was actually her first interview, all the other journalists and TV crews had swarmed like bees around the honey pot that was Susie. Marion listened in as Julie talked to her daughter.
“I’d like to publish a form of a diary”
“No just yours, you are the local girl”
“No, photographs will be head and shoulders only, but we might stretch our readers’ sensitivities to a bare bum or two.”
“If I could join you on a protest; that would be great”
She laughed nervously. “No, I don’t think I’m up to that”
“Committee meeting, well I suppose so, if they are closed, and everyone else is”
Good girl thought Marion, get her kit off.
“Tomorrow, Cathedral Square, at ten, I’ll be there”
Later as they sat in twilight’s last hot and sweaty gleaming on their patio, Brain and Marion discussed the day. They agreed it had gone better than it could have. Brian had received much sympathy at work, but to enable them to empathise with Brian’s despair everyone had to have a good look at Isla’s bare body. Julie Lewis had been good to her word; no other journalists had bothered them. After much thought, Marion had given Brian a heavily abridged account of Linda’s nudity. She kept it to the sunbathing only. Given the surprise on his face Marion could only imagine the effect the news of her wandering the neighbourhood would have on him. If Brian had found out Linda was out and about at the same time as they were last night Marion would have been called upon to make her second au natural emergency call.
“You mustn’t tell anyone about Linda” she admonished him earnestly as she eyed his big grin, “I promised her I wouldn’t tell you.” Marion paused for effect “After all, how would you like it if I told her about you?”
It took five minutes and a glass of water to cure Brian’s coughing fit.
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