Five

Brian felt like he had been hit in the solar plexus. If he hadn’t already been sitting down he’d have collapsed. His mind was in turmoil, a thousand thoughts flashing this way and that much like a shoal of fish that had just caught sight of the shadow of the shark.

“What me”

“That’s the deal” replied his wife “or Jill and Howard get the biggest Christmas surprise since they were six”

“I’ll just go upstairs” said Brian, a defeated man adrift on the ocean with no hope of rescue.

“No” said Marion” you’ll spend half an hour pacing around worrying, looking the mirror tying to suck your stomach in”

Isla giggled.

“Treat it like a swim in the North Sea, it’s easier to dive straight in rather than wade out into the freezing waves”

Brian looked nonplussed. Where her husband wavered, Marion was resolute.

“Strip” she ordered. “Isla, go and get your father a sherry, I think he is going to need one after this”

Their daughter dutifully left, bare buttocks swaying as she walked.

“Right, quick” Marion told her husband, “I’ve done you a favour, get ‘em off while she’s out of the room”

With an impressive turn of speed, Brian was out of his clothes quicker than a teenager at an orgy.

“Woo Dad” Isla exclaimed when she returned, “looking good” As she handed him his sherry Brian gave a rueful smile. His first encounter with a naked waitress and it was his own daughter. Brian sat in the chair while his wife busied herself with clearing away all the clothes. Suddenly she was gone leaving Brain alone with no clothes and his very naked daughter. Fortunately he did not have to think of any topics for polite conversation as Isla had plenty to say.

“I have to admit, I quite like being naked” she was saying.

‘It must run in the family’ Brian thought to himself

“Give yourself half an hour and you’ll be right as rain, you won’t even notice you’re nude” she continued. Brian was noticing very much that his daughter was very nude, especially her shaven vagina which looked like for all the world like a small slot on a vending machine. Not without venom he hoped that no unsuitable boy had been allowed to pop his coins in there. Totally oblivious to his scrutiny Isla continued to prattle on about her favourite subject, the environment and a project she had heard of but was now going to investigate more fully called eco nudes. Quite understandably given the circumstances Brian didn’t pay much attention to his daughter’s invective. An understandable moment of inattention that he was later to regret.