Three

Brian and Marion Shaw had one daughter they had christened Isla. She had been conceived on their honeymoon when they had both been young and careless. Although they had never thought of having a child so young and in many ways it had been a struggle, now they found it to be a blessing. Friends of their own age were now grappling with the angst of their teenage children. Meanwhile they were free of Isla who was away at university.

Well, most of the time, Brain mused that fateful Christmas morning as he lay in bed. Marion was already up and preparing the turkey dinner. If he listened carefully he could hear her singing carols in the kitchen. She greeted him with a warm Christmas kiss when he finally got up. Isla was nowhere to be seen. This was fortunate as both her parents were feeling a little piqued at her zeal for saving the environment. One bright September day they had bade a tearful farewell to a normal self centred materialistic teenager. Eighteen months on a green warrior had taken her place. Last evening they had been lectured for at least three hours on the evils of consumerism. Finally, having consumed a fair amount of wine, Brian and Marion were able to break free and retire with guilty consciences

“Come on Isla, get up. We want to open our presents” shouted her mother.

“Enemy of the planet” came the reply.

Eventually a tousled haired teenager appeared in the lounge.

“You could at least have dressed” said Brian as Isla lowered herself into the armchair clad only on her dressing gown and slippers.

“I thought you were in a hurry” Isla replied tartly.

“Oh for goodness sake, let’s get on with it” her mother interrupted sharply.

Marion had spent a considerable amount of time, and money, choosing a tasteful and quite trendy dress for her daughter’s present. She waited with eager anticipation as Isla to opened it. The first comment her daughter made regarded the waste of precious resources that had gone into the wrapping. She held the dress up against her small frame and then looked at the label. “Dry clean. High energy wastage and dangerous chemicals” commented Isla.

“The least you could say is thank you” snapped Marion.

“It’s a nice gesture, mum, but we need to think of the Earth’s resources. They are running out and so much is wasted on items we don’t need”

“Really Isla, your mother spent a great deal of time choosing that”

“I’m sure she did Dad, and I’m grateful, but we have to look at ourselves and change our lifestyles. We can’t afford to go on wasting precious resources on trinkets”

“Hrrumph” exclaimed Marion “I suppose these are a waste” she said flicking her Father Christmas earrings.

“Well yes” said Isla

“Right” exclaimed Marion between clenched teeth, removing the earrings and dropping them on the table. “And my dress, that’s an uneconomic use of resources, no doubt made by small children in sweat shops” she continued. Marion stood up.

“There’s no need to take on like that, stay and finish opening your presents” pleaded Brian trying to defuse the situation.

“Oh no” continued Marion “we can’t have any more wasteful possessions, can we” and without further ado, she unzipped her dress and stepped out of it. “There miss green warrior, does that suit your principles”

Brian looked at Marion with utter astonishment while Isla studied her fluffy slippers.

“I’m sorry Mum, I didn’t mean” But Marion had the bit between her teeth now.

“Wait a moment, my bra, it’s made of nylon. Oh that’s from oil, very bad” and without further ado she removed that too. Brian knew that she would go on now. “And the knickers, all the detergent used to wash them will be poisoning the waterways. There, happy now”

And with a flourish, she pulled them down and strode stark naked from the room.

Isla turned her ashen face to her father “I…I… didn’t mean”

“I’ll talk to her” said Brian getting wearily to his feet.

In the kitchen a very nude Marion was extremely pleased with herself. That had gone much better than she had expected. She wondered how much of the day she could spend naked in her mood of outraged indignity. She quickly wiped the smile from her face as the door opened and Brain entered.

“Well I hope she’s satisfied now” she stormed, “little sanctimonious madam”

“Marion you’re naked” said Brain trying to sound calm

“Well spotted dear” she replied sarcastically.

“Will you put some clothes on please?”

“Not until she apologises”

“Marion, it’s Christmas, what has come over you” But Brian was beginning to realise what had come over his wife, this was her big outing.

“I’ll go and talk to Isla” he said

He left and began to go upstairs to Isla’s room

“I’m still in here dad” she called as he passed the lounge door.

He turned and went into speak to his daughter. His jaw dropped, there sitting quietly in the same armchair, was his nineteen year old daughter. She sat comfortably, legs crossed, hands clasped together in her lap. She was still wearing her fluffy pink slippers, but that was all she had on, her dressing gown was folded primly on the coffee table next to her mother’s discarded clothes.

In the kitchen Marion became aware of a high pitched whine. She tracked the mournful sound to the lounge where she found her husband standing looking out of the window. It was clear that he was the source of the wail, and sitting calmly on the chair was the cause.

“Why are you naked Isla?” Marion asked

“For the same reason you are Mum” she replied calmly.

Marion paused briefly, she rather doubted that that was the case, but she wasn’t going to illuminate her family.

“Brian, will you stop that”

“Look what you have done” he shouted at the window.

“Yes” said Marion turning to her daughter, “look what you have done”

“Me” she countered pointing towards her bare chest. “You started it”

“Well it’s gone far enough” Brian interrupted “both of you can get dressed now, you have made your point”

But Marion had not made her point by a long way; she had planned on sitting down to lunch naked.

“I’ll get dressed when Isla promises to stop lecturing me”

“I’m sorry Mum, but I feel so strongly on this”

“Fine” she said simply, turned on her bare and flounced out.

Brain groaned and followed her.

“How long is this going to carry on?” he asked his wife.

“That’s up to Isla”

Brian sighed and then called “Isla, will you come into the kitchen?”