26

Left alone to mooch once more in the front garden staring at the green door of chez Shaw, Kevin’s mood blackened. What were the two witches up to in there? His contempt spread out from his perfidious wife to all of her sex. Had they not all been responsible for the fall? And should they all not be forced to pay? Wanton daughters of Eve! He’d speak to Brain, he should force his wife to be naked at all times too, that’s what women needed, the slap of firm discipline. The creak of the opening door broke into his angry manifesto.

“Come in” Brian told him, “I think you should be prepared for a bit of a shock”

“I’ve had more than a bit of a shock Brian, I don’t think anything could surprise me now”

But it did, as soon as he entered the kitchen his jaw dropped towards the patterned tiles and his legs froze as still as a bird stained statue. He had read about the medical phenomenon of lucid dreams, where realty was mixed with fantasy. That was the only explanation for there, flanking his naked wife, were two bare bookends. One he recognised, well he knew the face, the sturdy breasts with their long pink nipples were something new, as was the hairy vagina above the heavy thighs that had been last seen forcing their way out of a very unfashionable pair of shorts. Now here they were again freed from their shackles taking on a different perspective. Kevin had to admit that on the whole Marion looked much better out her clothes than in, and pretty good for her age too, he thought charitably.

If Marion opened the debate for universal female nudity then the little hottie at the end closed it, won the vote before moving onto the valedictory vote of thanks. Huge plump melon shaped mammaries jutted firmly from her chest, casting a shadow on a nice flat stomach and a smooth hairless vagina. Had he looked Kevin would have appreciated her pretty face and long curly black hair, but his eyes never strayed higher than her neck.

Marion waited while Kevin drank his fill, then she smiled, not a nice smile, it was a vicious smile, tipped with contempt and menace. But then Kevin wasn’t looking at Marion’s face either.

“I think you’ve had a good enough look, Kev” she said evenly, “Now let’s all sit down.”

Kevin and Brian sat one side of the table while three pairs of breasts lined up opposite them, six pert nipples pointing accusingly at Linda’s husband. Brian sat passively wringing his hands beneath the table out of sight of the women. He was afraid, very afraid. Kevin, however, still not sure if he was awake or not, drooled like a pubescent boy in a nudist camp.

“Kevin, your behaviour today has been disgraceful” Marion told him bluntly. “This stops now” She sounded like a strict headmistress dressing down a small boy, except Kevin was a grown man and it was Marion who was dressed down. “It has got to stop”

“Wait a minute” he said, realising that this was no dream, and wasn’t he was the one wronged against “I didn’t start this, Linda did. You wouldn’t catch me wandering the streets naked in the middle of the night”

“Nor me” replied Julie, as Marion looked at Brain and Brian looked straight back at his wife. Neither of them daring to breathe, “but that doesn’t excuse the way you have treated your wife”

Kevin finally managed to drag his eyes away from Julie’s magnificent pair of breasts and their flat pale brown nipples. “Who the hell are you anyway and why are you here?”

“This is Julie, she’s a friend of Isla’s. She just stopped by for a chat”

“That figures”

“How?”

“That explains why you are all sitting here in the buff. This is all your daughter’s fault” he said looking firmly at Marion, “running around in the nicy naky noo”

‘No it’s not’ thought Brian, staring fixedly at his wife too. Calm under fire Marion continued.

“We’re not here to talk about Isla, Kevin; we are discussing you and Linda”

“It’s none of your business” he said bluntly

“But you made it our business by forcing her to turn up naked at our front door”

“I was just visiting,” he replied trying to sound nonchalant “and Linda was wearing her normal attire for strolling around the street.” He spat out the last part of the sentence with such venom that Linda winced.

Marion continued as if he had not spoken “and then she announced herself as a slut…..her words or yours?”

“So what” Kevin decided to brazen it out, after all Marion was just another shameless, naked whorebitch.

“I think you should know that any divorce lawyer worth his salt would have you out of that house and give custody of your son to your wife with no access”

Kevin stared at Julie, this time he looked deep into her eyes. He saw no fear there at all. Cautious now he asked “What are you, some kind of naked lawyer?”

“No” she told him, “I’m a naked reporter”

That, thought Kevin, was much worse. Like an Antarctic glacier sliding inexorably towards the deep blue sea he began to realise he was in serious trouble, and had been for some time.

“And I’ve just listened to Linda’s story. I believe her and I’m sure all my readers will too”

It was over, too late now Kevin realised he was past the tipping point. An ocean of cold fear flushed all the anger from Kevin in less than a second. What would people think of him, what would he have though, reading such an article about another man? He looked at Julie in the certain knowledge that anyone who would sit there stark naked in support of Linda would not present his side of the case. The article would have more spin than a fairground carousel.

“It would make a good series, several articles over a month I think” Julie told him, smiling sweetly.

Broken now, Kevin held his head in his hands in defeat “Oh my God,” he muttered quietly, “what have I done.” He looked at his naked wife. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Reaching across the table he gently took her hand. “I’m so sorry” he told her.

Close to tears Linda replied “I’m sorry too Kev, I shouldn’t have”

“But why, love, why did you do it? What could possess you to walk around in the nude?”

“I don’t know, it’s like a drug I just can’t stop”

“You need help” he told her.

Marion who had been listening to this with a mixture of pleasure and contempt interrupted. It was time to put an end to such talk. There was one fact she knew above all others and that was that she, Marion, the true naked angel didn’t need any help to stop walking the neighbourhood in just her shoes. She had no intention of giving up her night time actives which were in her view were entirely wholesome and frankly nobody else’s business. In fact, she considered herself to be a pillar of the community for if she hadn’t been taking an air bath that chilly spring night Tomas O’Sullivan would be singing with real angels in the heavenly chorus.

She stamped on Kevin’s opinion as a small boy on an ant.“There’s nothing wrong with nudity, we’re all quite happy this side of the table” she told her neighbour haughtily

Kevin looked at her, and asked the question that had been gnawing away at his brain for some time.” Why exactly are you naked Marion?”

Julie answered for her “We’re dressed like this because Linda had no clothes and was too scared face you unless she was in the nude”

“We’re showing solidarity, Kev” Marion told him, steering away from that sticky patch. She pressed on with her attack and smiled as she drew the knife. “Perhaps you should too?”

He looked at her with a face as blank as a leaden winter sky. Then a stiff wind blew away the fog and a wintery ray of realisation spread itself all over Kevin’s face like a twisted shaft of sun.

“You mean me, take all my clothes off” he laughed, “I don’t think so”

As cool as the winter weather Marion slipped the blade between his ribs. “It will make a good story Kev, maybe a series.”

“There’s no need for that, look I’m really sorry, but you have to admit it was a shock” he sounded contrite as he continued “I’ll buy you a whole new wardrobe Linda” He crossed the floor and kneeled in front of her, a repentant child begging for forgiveness. He took her hand “Please Linda”

She ran her fingers through his hair before replying soothingly “It’s Ok Kev, we’ll be Ok now” She looked at Marion, “thanks for everything”

Marion twisted the knife “He has to do it Linda, you know it’s the only way”

Linda held her husband’s head in her hands. “You have to do this Kevin; it was Marion’s only condition for helping me. Believe me, she will do as she says”

Slowly Kevin rose to his feet, knees knocking, he was a defeated man and he knew it. He sighed “Ok, but I’m not getting undressed here”

“Take him into the hall Brain” Marion commanded.

“Come on mate,” Brian said a friendly hand on his shoulder, “tell you what” he continued magnanimously, “I can’t let you do it alone, I’ll join you”

Kevin almost swooned, “Brian, you are a true friend, but you don’t have to”

Brian held up a hand, “No, I insist, it’s the least I can do” he said with all the sincerity he could muster. He smiled at Marion, “you don’t object do you dear?”

His wife gave him a stern look, “no dear, it’s very magnanimous of you” she replied with more than a hint of sarcasm. Linda was clearly taken in by Brian’s unashamed flannel and smiled gratefully at him; Julie Lewis who was more aware of the dress code in the Shaw household was clearly having a hard time suppressing a fit of giggles. She had her face more or less under control, but a very appealing rhythmic vibration in her pendulous breasts betrayed her.

Clearly happy with himself and beaming from ear to ear Brian led Kevin out of the room to begin a new chapter of his life.



Marion was late home from PDQ. She was extremely satisfied with herself. It had been a warm sunny autumnal day and the office had been hot enough for a fully nude afternoon.

“Hi Brian” she called as she closed the door. She’d only had them on for the half hour journey home, but Marion felt no attachment to her clothes so off they came. Brian was reading the evening paper in the lounge. “There are two letters for you in the hall” ha called.

Not strictly true as one was addressed to both of them. She sauntered into the lounge. “Look Brian a wedding invitation”

He looked puzzled, “Who do we know who is getting married?”

“Merri, the secretary at PDQ”

“I suppose that will need a new outfit” he complained grumpily

“I don’t think so, this one will do” she replied

“I don’t understand”

“It’s a clothing optional wedding” she paused before driving in another nail “at a nudist club”

“What, you’re joking, give that here” he snatched the invitation.

Marion smirked at his discomfort as she opened the second letter. It too was an invitation. Her blood ran cold as she read it. Fortunately Brian was too wrapped up in his own dilemma with Merri’s wedding to notice.

“I’ll just make a start on cooking dinner shall I?” she said and retired to the kitchen.


An unseasonably warm autumn night, hot and sweaty, undoubtedly summer’s last throw of the dice. Brian thrashed about under the duvet as once again he roamed naked through his work. For his wife, who had actually done this, it was a dream come true. Fro Brain it was nightmare. “So you’re the naked angel are you” John poured scorn on him as Jan sat lasciviously on his lap stroking his hair. “Don’t be ridiculous that was my neighbour”

“So why have you come to work in the nude?” he asked with a pitying glance at Brian’s nether regions.
“I’m going to a wedding after work” the dreaming Brian replied desperately.

“Where’s your suit” asked John as Jan started to blow seductively on his neck.

“I’m wearing it”

“That’s not a wedding suit, that’s a birthday suit, you’re not going to a birthday are you” Jan giggled as she licked John’s ear.

“It’s at a nudist resort” Brian said in a small voice as Jan and Jon leered at him.

“So you’re a nudist are you? Running around in the woods in the rudey nudey”

“No, no, it’s not me it’s a friend of my wife, no, no”

Brian woke with a start, drenched in sweat. He reached to Marion for comfort but she wasn’t there. He had fallen straight from a bad dream into a waking nightmare. Leaping out of bed he raced to the window and looked out. The trees at the bottom of the garden had lost some of their leaves leaving a clear view of part of the lane. Two figures, much barer than the tree branches slipped past. Brain raced for the stairs, and then stopped at a sudden thought. Dick Standing what if….. He dashed into Isla’s empty bedroom at the front of the house, cursing as he stubbed his bare toe on a discarded hairdryer. Carefully parting the curtains he peeked out at the Standing residence. All seem quiet, he breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief and was about to hunt down the elusive Marion when he caught a movement from the corner of his eye. Dick Standing had become bolder and had relocated to the cover of a bush in his front garden for a better shot. He lay there as still as a sniper waiting for a careless victim to stray into his sights.

Brain hurtled from the room faster than a cartoon character with a bomb and dashed down the stairs. The sudden light hurt his eyes as he burst through the kitchen door en route to the garden. The sight of Marion sitting calmly at the table brought him to a sudden halt.

Marion was just as surprised as Brian. Fortunately his elephantine descent of the stairs had given her time to hide the invitation card before her husband arrived. It was clear however that Brian had other things on his mind.

“Thank God, Marion, I thought you were outside”

“And why should I be outside”

“I just saw two nudes walking along the lane”

“And you thought”

“Well yes after all we have…..”

Her mood brightened “You fancy another trip, I see you’re dressed for it”

In his hurry Brain had forgotten to put any clothes on.

“Didn’t you hear me Marion. There are two naked people in the lane”

She smiled, how things can change. “Linda and Kevin. She told me about it. I think we should stay inside tonight, they’ll want their privacy”

“Well they won’t get it. Dick standing is in his front garden, flash charged and camera ready”

“What” exclaimed Marion “Show me”

Brain admired the expanse of his wife’s bottom as she peered out of the curtains in his daughter’s empty bedroom.

“Get the camera Brian, we’ll give him a spoonful of his own medicine”

Five minutes later he was back “Sorry” he whispered “I couldn’t find it” He shoved a robe at his naked wife “put this on, we don’t want him taking photos back do we”

“Good point” she said wrapping it around her ample bosom on carefully opening the window. “Just stay still a moment” she whispered. The camera flash lit up the street like lightning, which was quickly followed by thunder from Dick’s garden as he threw himself to into a laurel bush. Marion hid behind the curtains and checked the camera memory. “Got him, poised and ready to shoot, wait till Julie Lewis gets this”